I'M FAT!

 By:  Susan Sparks

I'm fat, I'm fat
We can't have that.
I want to be thin
Cuz thin is in.

If thin is in,
Then why do I stick out?
Cuz I eat too much
I have no doubt.

Because I am a glutton
I cannot button
My shirt--
Or my skirt.

Jack Sprat
Could eat no fat
And his wife could eat no lean.
What exactly does this mean?

Jack Sprat was thin
Cuz thin was in
And his wife was fat
Cuz fat was where it's at.

Snickers bars and Almond Joys     
Potato chips and Chips Ahoys       
Caramel popcorn and natural fructose  
On comes the pounds and the celluose.    

I am now comatose
Because of an overdose
Of food.
How rude.

I just got home from the restaurant
Where I ate almost anything I want.
I'm now so full I'm going to be sick.
To eat like that I must be a lunatic.

How I feel I can't describe
I'll call my doctor and ask him to prescribe
Something good for indigestion
And then I'll ask him just one more question:

"How can I lose all this weight I've put on?
I know by now I must weigh a ton."
He'll probably give me his two cents worth
And proceed to ask me "How on Earth

Can ANYONE eat the way you do?
To eat that much is quite taboo.
There should be a law against the way you eat.
You probably go on a diet just so you can cheat."

To heck with doctors--what do they know?
I'm sure right now I'm on a plateau.
Tomorrow is another day.
I wonder just how much I'll weigh.

I'm fat, I'm fat,
So what--who cares?
So what if my buttocks
Have to sit in two chairs!  

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