| Dear Minnie,
I
am 51 years old and going thru my changes...In recent weeks I have been
to experience the itches like you wouldn't believe. It feels as if little
ants are crawling all over me.....I have found that using a skin lotion
helps but it doesn't last long...I hate to have clothes against my body...Any
suggestions?
I
am 49 and going thru perimenopause. One thing that is really getting
to me, is the fact that I seem to get sick all the time. Well, maybe
I am exaggerating, but it seems that every flu or cold that comes along
I catch. I take multivitamins, B, calcium, magnesium, E, try to eat
a good diet and get exercise. My daughter and 2 grandchildren live
with us (my new wonderful husband and me) and I know they bring home a
lot of germs from the daycare. But I can’t just stop holding my grandkids
because I’m afraid of germs!! I try everything there is to build
up my immune system but it doesn’t seem to be working. I am sick of being
sick!! I am waiting on lab results to get started on bioidentical
hormones, IF that is what the nurse practitioner thinks I need. Do
you think this problem with my immune system has to do with perimenopause.
My husband seems to think so.
I
am 45 and been going through this menopause for 3 years i have flushes
but in the last 4 months they have got worse.I have as many as two or three
an hour all day and night , this time i have not had a period since november
last year. I am at the end of my tether please help.
im
34 started menopause at 28 hysterecctomy at 30 my worst symptom (if 1 could
b worse lol) is every mornin i wake at 5 30 burning feels like my bloods
on fire my heart races and i feel im goin mad .once im up n about it dies
down have u heard of this one before im desperate lol
I
am 40 years old and just want to know how long do the symptoms last?
I have been having hot flashes for about a year, itchy skin for about 6
months and its driving me crazy. My kids do tell me to take a chill
pill. I'm a single mom so its hard on my whole family. My dr.
put me on effexor and it has helped the hot flashes but they recently got
worse and I started taking "New Phase" and it has helped some. How
long do I have to suffer?
Dear
Minnie, I am 50 years old and am in college. I was wondering if you have
any suggestions for these memory lapses that I am currently experiencing.
I know that this is a really bothersome side effect of menopause but I
was wondering if there were any herbal remedies that would help to alleviate
these symptoms. I feel like my minds a sieve!!
So
glad I found your website! So many of my questions have been answered just
by browsing. However, I do have a rather touchy one. It concerns libido.
I understand that women can lose interest in sex to many different degrees
during menopause. My problem isn't so much the loss of interest, as I am
still quite interested, my problem is not being able to achieve fulfillment
during intimacy with my husband. This has been going on for nearly three
months now. I've been menopausal for nearly two years. I do not take HRT.
My hot flashes and night sweats have started to subside somewhat. So I
am hoping for a quick end to those two particular symptoms. Any advice?
Any websites I can visit to find out if there's anything my husband and
I can do to return to our (transaltion: my) "normal" state of intimacy?
I
am 52 years old. I have been taking HRT for a year now, and it has helped
tremendously. I also take 1500 of calcium daily as suggested by my doctor.
I recently went to the dentist with a problem and after the xrayswere done,
it showed I have bone loss in my lower jaw, and my teeth are starting to
shift. The dentist says that the calcium will not help as it only affects
the long bones. Any suggestions or help?
I'm
43 years old and had a partial hysterectomy about 5 years ago. Lately,
I have begun to think that I might be allergic to my husband. Seems
that every time we are intimate together (and this the only time that it
happens) I swell and get very sore. this usually lasts for about a week
or so. Consequently, we don't have much of a sex life these days. I do
have other menopause symptom and think that I am definitely premenopause.
Have you ever heard of this before.
I've
done a web search & can't come up with an answer for my concern. I'm
having vaginal "twitches." This happened a few weeks ago & quit,
but it started up again. Any ideas what this is?
Dear Readers,
As you can see from the number of emails
above (and below), Women are still looking for answers for very individual
questions. You can also see the the common nature of the questions...fear,
confusion, frustration, as well as a feeling that they are alone and have
no where to turn. At minniepauz.com, we are trying to reach as many women
as possible and bring them into a caring, understanding community where
they will get the kind of support and information that will help them get
their hormones and their lives back into balance. Please join the women
on the Minnie Pauz Forum....you're
going to love it! We have the wonderful Dr. Judy who will try to answer
your questions with compassion and understanding that only comes from someone
who has experienced some of what you're going through.
Dear Minnie,
I'm 41 yrs. old
and I've noticed that about a week after my period, I experience super
tenderness in the breast area (like when I was in ovulation "before" my
period). Am I in perimenopausel stages? Thanks, Angie
Dear Angie,
It depends on what
other symptoms
you are experiencing. We never really know the exact moment that our bodies
go from one stage to another, but since perimenopause can go from 5-10
years before menopause and since the average age of menopause is between
51 and 55, you certainly could be starting the process. You can talk to
other women and ask Dr. Judy on the Minnie
Pauz forum.
Dear Minnie
I am 52 and
haven't had a period in six months. For the past 1-1/2 to 2 years
I have been suffering with a continual mental state of confusion, anxiety,
lack of attention. It is severely affecting my job. Can't focus
on anything, details elude me, anxiety is a 10 on the Richter Scale.
It's difficult to find information on this topic. Most resources
deal with hot flashes. Help! I feel like I am loosing my mind.
I feel like an alien has taken over my body. Unfortunately it isn't
a smart alien! Are there any resources out there to help me learn more
about this? Thanks, M.
Dear M.,
If you haven't seen
the list of symptoms yet, check out this
page. Then head over to my resources
page where you will find much more than just hot flashes. To get immediate
support, join other women in the same boat at the forum.
You're not alone!!
Dear Minnie
I am 49 years old,
and have the depression, mood swings, shorter and heavier periods than
in past, slight hot flashes (like a wave of heat), headaches from time
to time, and loss of interest in sex, well not totally, but alot less desire
than before. These symptoms really don't freak me out, BUT today ...I feel
like crying. Last year, I began to have "light headed" feelings that come
and go, not true dizziness, like my sense of balance was off . Crashing
fatigue followed a few months later.
I've been to the
Dr. numerous times since then, I had every blood test they could come up
with, nothing. Thank God. But still my symptoms persisted. The Dr. said
he didn't need to take a blood test to know that I am in the pre-meno stages.
(So he says ) The nurse suggested that maybe a B complex vitamin would
help. A friend of mine recommended ****** vitamin supplements. I began
to eat healthier because I use to be a junk food junkie - and took a one
a day multivitamin for women along with 2 ***** tablets in the morning.
At night, I would take a B complex with dinner and 2 more ***** tablets.
After about 2 weeks, I did begin to feel better, and then by week 3, I
almost felt like myself again. I have been on this exact regimen since
then (June 2003 ).
This week I began
to have those horrible light headed feelings again. AND it is truly interfering
with my daily life! This time, the light headed feelings will not
go away. They are with me when I get up in the morning until I go to bed
at night! I have increased my dosage of ***** to 3 times a day but to no
avail. HELP ! What can I do ? Sincerely; Desperate Debbie
Dear Desperate,
You're basically
working through the entire list of the most common symptoms
that most of us experience as our hormones start acting like a kangaroo
on a motorcycle! (at least that's the image that comes to mind for me)
All the hopping up and down of our hormones, the speed and acceleration
of the changes going on and the impossible task of keeping our balance,
truly makes us feel like we're losing our mind!
First of all, what
works during one phase of our "change" may not continue to have the same
results and the only way to maintain whatever sense of balance you've achieved
is to be aware and educated about what is happening to your body and what
alternatives you have to get the symptoms under control. There is no one
solution that will stop the process of menopause, so you have to decide
which path you will take to get through it. Obviously, working with your
Dr. is high on the list of your options, but you may also have to choose
whether you should use hrt or bio-identical hormones or go with the more
natural, herbal remedies. It's not easy or fast, but believe me,
you WILL get through this and life WILL be more than you ever imagined!
Minnie
Dear Minnie,
Please help me,
I am 21 and my mother is soon to be 40 and she is driving me nuts. She
is up she is down she's left and shes right all in one minute. I looked
at your 35 symptoms and she carries about 12 of them, and thats not including
the personal ones that I dont know about. She has never mentioned any thoughts
that she may be going into menopause and I would like to suggest it to
her, what is he most tactful way I can do it without hurting her or making
her feel railroaded? Please help me, I love my mother and want to help
her. Heather
Dear Heather,
She'll probably
thank you for being open about your concern and for finding minniepauz.com!
I'm sure she loves to laugh, right? I would suggest that you talk to her
as you would a girlfriend and say something like, "Mom, do you think your
hormones could be causing you problems? I found the funniest site that
even helped ME understand what so many women are going through!" I can
guarantee you, Heather, she will be so relieved to know that she's not
going nuts! You just need some way to break the ice. Has she ever complained
about feeling hot when everyone else says it's not hot? You could also
print off one or two of the cartoons for her. Most women are so relieved
to find that we're all trying to get through this and will help each other.
Does she use the computer? If so, show her the minniepauz message board.
She'll definitely find herself in some of the posts there.
Please let me know
if you manage to start a conversation with her about this. You're a great
daughter to want to help!
Best wishes,
Minnie
Dear Minnie,
I just wanted to
share something with you that I tried and seems to have helped my relationship
with my husband. We've been married nine years, together ten.
I'm 53 years old now. During the second year we were together I recognized
the signs of the onset of menopause were becoming more pronounced.
We went to the library and checked out a book on menopause. Sitting
on the bed drinking a glass of wine, we read it together. Although
occasionally I find the need to remind him of which one of us is going
through the change of life (he's 15 years younger than I am) it seems to
have helped when I find myself reacting abnormally (crying or yelling for
no apparent reason like something so simple as when he leaves the toilet
seat up!). Your web site is wonderful. We both laughed while
reading the signs of menopause because it's the first site I've visited
that lists them all..... Thank you so much because it's reassuring
that I'm not going crazy and has once again reinforced my husbands belief
that I'm the same wonderful woman he married. Keep up the great work
Minnie, we all love you for being there.......Nancy
Dear Nancy:
What a great way
to include your husband in the learning process of this transition in your
life! Many times the partners are left out when women themselves are dealing
with the confusion of midlife, so it's no one's fault, just an unfortunate
experience that can chip away at even a rock solid relationship! It's no
wonder that this page
is one of the most popular on my website! There, men can find information
and humor, of course, that is specifically from the male point of view.
I'm not sure which
book you and your husband read together, but one that I recommend is DOUBLE
MENOPAUSE: What To Do When Both You And Your Mate Go Through Hormonal Changes
Together by Nancy Cetel, MD.
With these tools
that include spouses and partners in finding solutions, an entire generation
is on the path to eliminating the "separation anxiety" that menopause can
create.
Minnie
Dear Minnie:
One of the most frustrating
symptoms I am experiencing is lack of interest in sex. My husband and I
have been married for 32 years and this is the first time I've really had
to worry about this problem. I know you can't answer medical questions,
but I'm wondering if you know anything about Avilmil, which is a herbal
product that is being advertised on tv?
Dear Sara:
Here's a report from
a pharmacists' review newsletter:
http://www.minniepauz.com/forum2/viewtopic.php?t=134
Now maybe the product
is harmless and maybe it HAS improved some women's libido, but make sure
you base your decisions on facts and intuition, rather than a very expensive
ad campaign. If you HAVE used it and it has helped, please tell us.
Minnie
Dear Minnie:
I am 33 years old
and my mother is soon to be 55. We have always had a wonderful friendship......until
lately. The past few months she is very needy of my time and gets
angry with me when I can't get together with her. She is constantly
laying guilt trips on me. She also is very forgetful and has blown
up at me for reasons that I don't understand. I feel like I can't
do anything right lately and I feel like she has lost her mind! I
have kind of distanced myself from her because she is difficult to be around,
but that seems to be making things worse. She actually yelled at
me the other day when I didn't have an address that she asked for and told
me that she had no time to talk to me and that she was so angry with me
she was afraid she would say things she would regret. When I tried
to talk to her about what she was angry about (because I was so confused
by her anger), she just got completely irrate! HELP ME! I feel
like I don't know who she is right now. I have recently been reading
about menopause and I believe that she might be going through it.
How do I confront her about this without making her even more mad at me?
I miss my mom and the relationship we had. Do you have any advice?
Sincerely, Stephanie
Dear Stephanie:
first of all let
me say, your Mom is very blessed to have such a concerned and loving daughter.
:) Second, have faith that you will get through this and have your Mom
back, but there's just no set time frame so we just have to recognize that
"something" is going on that requires our attention. (has your Mom mentioned
menopause?) Then we have to be proactive in educating ourselves about what
that "something" might be and how to handle it. (does your Mom use a computer
at all?) Sometimes it's hard to figure out where to go for help and the
support of other women in the same age group is usually the most effective
in soothing the fears and helping to guide us in the right direction. If
you can get your Mom to visit my site, I predict she'll feel relieved to
find a lot of support by women who really DO understand what she's going
through.
If she has a doctor,
the ideal thing would be if she could mention this "change" in her personality
and the way she feels and discuss the options she has to start managing
her hormones which affect everything from her moods to her weight. If you
could print out the symptoms page www.minniepauz.com/35symptoms.html
and just leave them with her, she'll probably feel relieved that there
IS a reason for how she's been feeling. There's a lot of controversy right
now about whether to take HRT or use natural remedies and there is just
no simple answer that works for everyone.
Because I use humor
to wake people up to menopause, everyone seems less threatened, so you
could print out a couple of cartoons for her and that may give you the
opportunity to start a conversation with her. You'd actually be giving
her a gift by introducing my site to her and letting her read what other
women have said www.minniepauz.com/comments.html
That way, you're not approaching this from the standpoint of "you've changed",
"you're not who you used to be", and other statements that tend to put
someone on the defensive (especially when we don't know what's going on
ourselves). Instead, you would be saying, "look what I found...I thought
this might be of interest (or useful) to you....".
Without knowing how
your Mom feels about being middle-aged (same age as me), or if she uses
the computer....that's about all I can suggest right now. I know it's rough
when you care about someone and things seem to be out of control, but try
not to take it personally.....in fact, make sure your OWN sense of humor
is put into the scenario, ok? :) Yes, it definitely sounds like your Mom
is menopausal (if she still has periods at all, she's considered peri-menopausal)
and I can guarantee you that you'll BOTH live through this! Just think
how much you'll know once YOU get to that stage! hahahh...I know, I know......it's
still a bit early, but the fact is that all women are going to reach that
point and you're better off the more you know. Our generation didn't have
any of this knowledge, so again, the babyboomers have paved the way for
your generation to have it a lot easier.
Please let me know
if any of this helped and if your relationship with your Mom improves.....
Best wishes.....
Minnie
Dear Minnie:
I am going through
menopause. I am 47 years old. Some days i just can't seem to get it going.
Been to a doctor... she said it is normal and it will pass. Just can't
accept something like this can make your whole life change. Don't like
the depression part of it, but iam hanging on. Would like to talk to others
who feel same way and how they get through it.
Dear Reader:
Yes, it's a bummer to realize that there's
nothing you can do to make it all go away, but at least the periods go
away!! That's one of the positive aspects of menopause! You can only reach
that point by getting older, so as far as accepting the reality of the
change, I'm afraid you have no choice. I'm glad to hear you're hanging
on and I'm sure you'll do fine! You can find other women to talk to on
the Minnie Pauz Message Board
or check the other groups listed here:
Minnie
Pauz Resources
All my best! (and keep laughing!)
Minnie
Dear Minnie,
I am 51 years old,
have been having occasional hot flashes for about the past 10 years, until
a few months ago when i started having them on a regular basis. It
got so bad that i wasn't sleeping at night, half the night throwing my
blankets off & the other half looking for them. I finally broke
down and went to my doctor and he put me on an HRT and also an aspirin
a day(because i am a smoker). I had regular periods up until September
of last year and then nothing until January of this year. I have
been on the HRT for a couple of weeks now and the aspirin a day for about
a week and have been spotting ever since i started the aspirin a day.
My doctor seems to be no help at all. I guess I was wondering if
there were any suggestions that you would have for me. Any help would be
greatly appreciated. As of now, I am thinking about stopping the
HRT. I am beginning to think the hot flashes are better than the
spotting every day. Sincerely, Lynn
Dear Lynn,
As you have found
out, the HRT can cause a whole new set of problems that you have to deal
with. What I would advise you to do is find another doctor who will listen
to you and help you find the most helpful remedies for your particular
situation. In this day and age, we shouldn't have to walk away from a doctor's
appointment thinking "my doctor seems to be no help at all". Your other
option is to take control of your healthcare by becoming educated on what
is happening with your body and what the latest findings are regarding
women's health, menopause and hrt.
It's certainly not
going to be easy and there's no one answer for everyone, but you will feel
so much more confident and informed, which will make your passage much
easier. You will find up-to-date reports and articles here: http://www.minniepauz.com/whi_report.html
and daily news reports about women's health here: http://www.minniepauz.com/newsfeed.html
Lynn, the days of relying solely on our doctors for what's best for us
is over....take charge and feel better!
Minnie
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