Newbie - Having Trouble Dealing With The Idea of Menopause

For those of you who are just beginning this wonderful process, here we can narrow down the symptoms and ask questions like "am I starting perimenopause?"

Newbie - Having Trouble Dealing With The Idea of Menopause

Postby Emmy2 » Sun Nov 27, 2005 4:47 pm

Hi. I'm 45 and I think I'm beginning peri-menopause mainly because my periods are getting weird...instead of q 26 days they are q 21, 18 etc. and during my period it stops and starts 2 or 3 times before it's over. I've also experienced mostly emotional symptoms...depression, anxiety, easily angered, fatigue, headaches.

But I guess, what I'm having problems with the most is the idea of "the end." I have no children (not my choice - a combo of fate & physical problems) but I had come to terms with that...or so I thought but there was always that hope in the back of my mind. Now that menopause is becoming a reality the idea of growing older, not having children, my mortality, etc. is a hard reality to face. My husband is a gem and he has a wry, philosophical way of explaining life that does help in "my time of need" sometimes. (I should say I have three 4-legged children that give me so much joy and I'm very thankful for them.)

When I found this site I thought it would be helpful to hear from other women feeling the same way. I know that in the future hearing about other women's physical symptoms on this site will help me understand this change. I'm wondering if anyone has any morsels of wisdom that can help me with the big picture. I hope I don't sound ridiculous and I'm a little sensitive right now, so please don't be mean... :cry:

Thanks for taking the time...
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Postby colopam » Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:05 pm

Emmy2
Welcome!! You've come to a VERY supportive and informative site! Please check around the message board and read some of the posts, I think you'll find yourself among our stories. I strongly recommend that you go to the main site and check out all the wonderful resources and articles Dee has put together (Minnie herself!), check out the great cartoons and get your dose of HRT (humor replacement therapy!). Print out the 35 signs and check off the ones that apply to you, kind of map of sorts. Be sure to share all of this with your DH, there's even a spot for him. BUT most of all be gentle with yourself. Be sure to be eating optimally, take your daily's and calcium, exercise and be sure to get time for yourself. Come on up to the introductions and give us some info. You might even want to check out the map with a lot of our pics on it.

HUgs Pam
It's never too late for a happy childhood!!
The more you live, the less you die!!
Well behaved women rarely make history.
DB: 1958
peri/hypothyroid/fibroids(myomectomy)
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Postby Rita » Mon Dec 05, 2005 9:02 am

Have you consider adoption? My husband and I have two adopted children that we couldn't love more if I had them myself.
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Postby minniepauz » Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:45 am

Welcome, Emmy2.... thanks for sharing your experience with us. We've got such a wide range of women who have started having symptoms at different ages and it does help to know when someone is close to your own situation. I had what would be considered an early menopause (meaning my periods stopped at 41 or 42), but I had already had my 3 kids so I can't totally relate to your situation. I'm sure it must be very upsetting to think of this being "the end" as you put it, but you also sound like you have come to terms with the possibilities of not giving birth and you have a very supportive husband which is wonderful!

I guess the best advice I can give is to see your physician about what might be going on with your hormones since you've had problems in the past, then read everything you can about peri-menopause and all the different options women have today, live a healthy lifestyle and most of all, keep your sense of humor! You will never sound ridiculous on this site and we certainly don't want to be "mean" to anyone!
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Adoption?

Postby dcamp » Mon Dec 05, 2005 2:29 pm

Hi Rita,

I am curious about the possibility of adoption that you mentioned in your last post to Emmy who is 45. Is there actually a place to go that would permit adoption to someone in their late 40's? The reason I ask, is I have a very dear friend whose first husband absolutely refused to have children. They divorced after 10 years of marriage and now she is happily married to a wonderful man. They are both 48 years old and she is so down because she never had any children. She is perimenopausal and even though they use no birth control, nothing is happening----and it's probably unlikely that anything will. Is there a chance that they can adopt at their ages? Thanks. Donna
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Postby colopam » Mon Dec 05, 2005 7:31 pm

Donna!!!
Yes there are a lot of places, yes hard to find but children from other countries, older children, those with special needs. My DH and I have thought a lot about it. He has 2 beautiful daughters and I had the priviledge of being mom to one since she was 15, it was tough but I'd do it again in a heartbeat, I only wish we could have had her younger, I truly believe we could have made even more of a difference than we had the opportunity for. I would check with local charities and churches for a start. A client of mine adopted a beautiful little girl from China and the sun DOES rise and set on her. Good luck and let us know
p.s. someone on the pausers with yougins board might have some info!!!

Hugs Pam
It's never too late for a happy childhood!!
The more you live, the less you die!!
Well behaved women rarely make history.
DB: 1958
peri/hypothyroid/fibroids(myomectomy)
Pam
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colopam
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Posts: 1234
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2004 9:38 am
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