What's normal?

For those of you who are just beginning this wonderful process, here we can narrow down the symptoms and ask questions like "am I starting perimenopause?"

What's normal?

Postby MelC » Wed Feb 27, 2008 6:36 pm

I was confirmed at pre-menopausal about 2 years ago. Until recently it's mainly been the annoyance of irregular periods (anywhere from 1 to 6 months between), hot flashes and night sweats, the latter two I have controlled by using Meno-eze forte. I'm not upset about menopause coming up, though it is somewhat early (I'm 46, so 44 when all this started) and feel I have it under control. I take a break from the meno-eze every few months and start again if symptoms crop up. So far so good.

My husband works in an industry that has a high percentage of woman, something that has never been a big concern. Yes there has been the odd twinge of doubt, but I know he loves me and have always been able to put things into perspective. This man means the world to me and I thank the cosmos daily that I have him in my life. About 2 months ago I find out a friend we know from online has been in more regular contact with my husband than I realised, which set some alarm bells ringing as she is very needy and tends to attach herself thinking there is a relationship. I told my husband my concerns and because my instincts are very good, he listened and reduced the contact. It turns out I was correct, so problem averted right? Wrong. The next couple of weeks I made his and my own life hell. I felt I was drowning in a pit of low self esteem and jealously, even when rationally I knew there was no reason, only those rational thoughts made the problem worse! I was angry at her for not respecting our marriage, him for not thinking how this would make me feel and hated myself for being so damn stupid and out of control.

I tried a number of times to explain how I was feeling to him, doing poorly each time. I -knew- it was stupid and I -knew- I was pushing him away, but I was powerless to stop it and felt like an idiot even trying to explain. It came to a head a few weeks later when he asked why I didn't like him any more. I spilled everything I was feeling, irrational or not. Thankfully he was very understanding. I had been having a break from the meno-eze and starting to experience hot flashes again, so re-started taking one a day. Suddenly I find the situation doesn't bother me half as much. I've gained perspective back, feel happier and more stable.

Can menopause really cause you to be -so- out of control?? The only time I've experienced anything similar was around 20 years ago when I suffered severe depression. I swore at the time I would never let myself get that low again and despite going through all sorts of traumas I've never had more than the odd low moment. I have to think it was hormonal/menopause related because my whole behaviour changed once I started the meno-eze again.

Phew! This was longer than I anticipated. If you got this far, thanks for listening :lol:
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Re: What's normal?

Postby psexypsychic » Thu Feb 28, 2008 5:18 am

"What is normal"... I often ask myself this when my peri symptoms are blowing up in my face.

Normal is subjective, I think- what's normal to me isn't normal to my mother and so on.

As for emotions making you feel irrational, that's one of my norms. I can flip out over the slightest thing, or not react at all to the same thing later on. My kids and husband call me "the menopause monster". And, since I'm peri, my PMS is more intense as well.

I've never needed medical help dealing with depression (knock wood!), and so far, I don't think I ever will. My bouts of depression are fleeting, and they seem to go along with my bouts of happiness... then, the wind changes direction.... ;)

I'm so happy you have such an understanding guy... we should clone him and have him teach other husbands how to be the same way.

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diagnosed perimeno at 36 years old
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