!! Depression !!

For those of you who are just beginning this wonderful process, here we can narrow down the symptoms and ask questions like "am I starting perimenopause?"

!! Depression !!

Postby ms_linda » Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:31 pm

UGH, I just hate this depression! I started getting 'sad days' the mid part of November. At the time I was in the process of adjusting thyroid medication (another problem that arose in October, UGH!) Now I think I have my thryoid meds at the right dose, but still have the off and on depression. I think it is menopause starting up now.

I am going to do the saliva test as per my doc - a DO vs a MD. Anyone do the saliva test to check your hormone levels? My doc feels that is better then the blood test. Hey, what do I know!?

Does anyone know if the bio meds help with depression?? Anything help with the depression at all? I have tried the SAM-e, and also Holy Basil, I do not think either one is working, but maybe they are and I could be worse then I am!? I really do (did) not want to go on an antidepressant, as the process just seems like a lot to go through - some meds do not work for some people then you have to go off that one and start another, then once you find one that works for you there is a doseage adjustment . . . UGH! Some days I wish I were a man!
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Re: !! Depression !!

Postby minniepauz » Tue Apr 15, 2008 2:59 pm

I've considered going back on Zoloft, but since I don't have insurance I've been unable to get to a doctor for a check-up, so I'm taking St. John's wort....it's about the only thing that I've been able to notice a "lift" in my moods after only a few days. Could be my imagination too, who knows? I'm always battling depression....actually more of a lack of motivation. Not good when you're self-employed!
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Re: !! Depression !!

Postby Kris » Tue Apr 15, 2008 4:43 pm

I wonder..... Do we get depressed because 'we just are' ..... or, are we depressed because we just don't feel like we used to? I know we all have things in our lives that are very challenging, but we are resilient women. We press on. I almost think that when we get to the point where we are not 'running circles' around everyone else, like we are used to doing.... it is depressing. I used to be able to work 10-12 hour days and then keep my house clean and my laundry done..... but not now. I know I need to go to the gym..... eat better..... sleep better...... but it hard getting the motivation. I wonder why it is so easy to care for your kids and husband... but so hard to care for oneself???
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Re: !! Depression !!

Postby ms_linda » Wed Apr 16, 2008 7:13 am

Kris wrote:I wonder..... Do we get depressed because 'we just are' ..... or, are we depressed because we just don't feel like we used to? I know we all have things in our lives that are very challenging, but we are resilient women. We press on. I almost think that when we get to the point where we are not 'running circles' around everyone else, like we are used to doing.... it is depressing. I used to be able to work 10-12 hour days and then keep my house clean and my laundry done..... but not now. I know I need to go to the gym..... eat better..... sleep better...... but it hard getting the motivation. I wonder why it is so easy to care for your kids and husband... but so hard to care for oneself???



I do not know . . . but I wonder what women did years ago when they had no options and even saying the word 'depressed' was taboo!?? My mom nor mother in law CERTAINLY NEVER would have said they are depressed! Both are decessed now, and even if I could ask I am sure neither would admit to depression.

Or is depression a new age disease? Perhaps due to the pace of our lives, being bombarded with bad news day after day, the war the economy etc. Or, the stuff in our foods (growth hormones in cattle, perservatives in cereal, stuff packed in plastic that they now say is toxic, etc etc) Is all of this causing more depression?

I have put feelers out in a lot of different ways, speaking to other women face to face, on this board and a few other boards. I get the same thing, some people work through it with antidepressants long term and short term. Some do therapy . . . A lot say the same thing, exercise will help. I know men and women who have been on AD's and worked their way back off for different reasons.

Then I read report after report saying the AD's do not do a lot or in some cases nothing at all. I just read another report that states so many Americans have gone on AD's in the past few years that going on the med is almost like an epidemic. So, do so many of us need AD's or do we justify by thinking well this friend or that sister in law is on, so I can go on too. (just a ponder, not a judgement!!)

I do know when I first got hit with depression mid November, I found out 2 of my sister in laws are on AD's, one has been for over 15 years and I had no clue! The one family has been going to family counseling for years, two neices are on AD's and one nephew takes anti anxiety pills when needed. None of these persons are blood relatives to me, just married into the same family as I am. Hubby found out his secratary has been on Wellbutrin for a few years. In short, we never knew so many of those around us are on one AD or another.

I have a hormone test slated for today, then have about a 2 week wait for the results. I hope to get an answer there, but if not I do not know what I am going to do! If it is my hormone level - again, I do not know what I am going to do!!! I only know my mom took Prempro, or Premarin, and within 6 months had full blown breast cancer. She swore it was the hormones that kicked the tumor into high gear. Bio's, they just do not seem to know a lot about!

Do I throw my hands up in the air and go on an AD? I just DREAD that process, as so many I have talked to tell me they have to try several before they find one that works for them w/o problems. Then you go through an adjustment stage with that, dose level. UGH!! There goes my whole Summer, I am sure.
My husband thinks I have been a real trooper and is amazed I hung in there this long. I had no real choice as I really wanted to get my thyroid meds adjusted before I introduced a new med to my system. Now that I feel my thyroid meds are where they need to be, I think I am fine with moving on and addressing the off and on depression.
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Re: !! Depression !!

Postby Kris » Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:41 am

+Linda..... I hope you are able to find something that works for you. I really do understand the 'personal torment' depression causes. People who have never felt it think you should be able to 'pull yourself up by the boot straps' and carry on. My dad died twenty years ago, out in our backyard. He was mowing the lawn and mowed over a yellowjacket nest, in the ground. They swarmed him and he was stung over 100 times. He died instantly. That sent me into a downward spiral of depression and anxiety for five years. I was only 28 at the time, in a bad marriage, had a toddler and I guess it was more than I could handle. I got therapy... took meds.... and worked my way out of it. I thank God every day for that strength.
Six years ago I moved, with my husband from Ohio to Georgia. My mom and sisters were in Ohio and it was difficult leaving my mom. She had severe RA and was diagnoised with cancer. I took care of her and leaving caused me alot of pain. I did start taking a low dose of prosac and honestly it did help. I didn't feel drugged or tired or "funny" in any way. I just felt less anxiety about things and was better able to cope. This drug, I think, has a short life span in your system, so it is easy to go off of it when you are ready. There is such a stigma about taking AD meds, but depression is a serious illness and there is help available. There are days now (many days) that I think about starting it again. To help get me through these days when i just feel the need to cry....... for really no reason. It does disrupt my life. However, I also believe, as I already stated...... if I exercised, ate better, slept better, laughed more............ Things I know I need to do for myself, I would feel better. It also helps to know you are not alone.
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Re: !! Depression !!

Postby minniepauz » Wed Apr 16, 2008 9:39 am

Personally, I feel that the AD's are more appropriate for chronic depression instead of the "on and off" variety. I've had a minor level of chronic depression since my mid-20's, but was only on Zoloft for about 5 years in my late 40's when I could not lift myself out. I did have to try several before Zoloft, but they either made me tired or didn't have any effect. With Zoloft (AND a move closer to my kids), I was able to take myself off them and have only used SJW at times I felt myself sleeping too much or just generally feeling down.

I've also heard that exercise is the very best solution for depression, but I can't seem to make myself do it on a regular basis....as much as I wish I could!! Each of us just has to determine what is the best path. I believe the problem is when a depressed person doesn't realize they're depressed and therefore doesn't reach out for ANY help.

I feel fortunate that I don't have to take care of anyone but myself at this time in my life. I'm sure it would be hard to make that switch after so many years, but women need to realize how really important it is!!
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Re: !! Depression !!

Postby ms_linda » Wed Apr 16, 2008 9:46 am

Kris wrote:+Linda..... I hope you are able to find something that works for you. I really do understand the 'personal torment' depression causes. People who have never felt it think you should be able to 'pull yourself up by the boot straps' and carry on. My dad died twenty years ago, out in our backyard. He was mowing the lawn and mowed over a yellowjacket nest, in the ground. They swarmed him and he was stung over 100 times. He died instantly. That sent me into a downward spiral of depression and anxiety for five years. I was only 28 at the time, in a bad marriage, had a toddler and I guess it was more than I could handle. I got therapy... took meds.... and worked my way out of it. I thank God every day for that strength.
Six years ago I moved, with my husband from Ohio to Georgia. My mom and sisters were in Ohio and it was difficult leaving my mom. She had severe RA and was diagnoised with cancer. I took care of her and leaving caused me alot of pain. I did start taking a low dose of prosac and honestly it did help. I didn't feel drugged or tired or "funny" in any way. I just felt less anxiety about things and was better able to cope. This drug, I think, has a short life span in your system, so it is easy to go off of it when you are ready. There is such a stigma about taking AD meds, but depression is a serious illness and there is help available. There are days now (many days) that I think about starting it again. To help get me through these days when i just feel the need to cry....... for really no reason. It does disrupt my life. However, I also believe, as I already stated...... if I exercised, ate better, slept better, laughed more............ Things I know I need to do for myself, I would feel better. It also helps to know you are not alone.


Kris
You share a lot of the same sort of things I have been through, and at the time I did not realize the potential impact they had, or would have on my life.

In 2004 my daughter finished college and went to Colorado to live - she loves it there and is still there. I am in PA I really did think she was moving home up to about 4 weeks before the end of her Sr year. I also left my job right about that same time, I just could not take it any more. I later found out my boss took a super early retirement as things were that bad! I thought I would find a job, but here I am 4 years later without. I am lucky as my husband has a good job, we are NOT rich, but live comfortable enough. My mother in law passed away after spending 6 months in bed May of 2005. My mom had been fighting cancer off and on for 10 years and lost that battle August of 2006. My dad had back problems and had surgery then February of 2007, and our 14 year old dog died of a heart attack the night before my dad's surgery! My dad has been a handful for a number of reasons since my moms passing . . . So yes I am stressed out!! Last Summer I thought it was just stress, but by September I would tell my husband each night, if I do not wake up in the morning - I love you and tell the kids I love them. As it was my thyroid was crashed - my levels were so off the charts that the doc kept saying to me that she was shocked I could even walk, much less drive myself to the appointment. My heart rate was down to about 38 - 40 beats per minute, much slower and I could have gone into a coma!! I do think stress brings on a lot of hormonal changes, depression is linked to all of that.

I am going to a meeting this Saturday morning that will be on the topic of selling real estate. I know sales are down all over the country, but it may be a good time to get into it. Things are slow, so less pressure and more time to learn the ropes! I make nothing now, so I can't make any less then I do now.
Myself, I have started to go to the dentist to get some much needed work done and also spending the money on teeth whitening - maybe whiter teeth will make me feel like smiling more?? I also keep thinking of calling a gym close to me and meeting with a personal trainer for a few sessions (?) Like you express a need to pull yourself out again . . . Not only be so and so's wife, so and so's mom, or employee number whatever or superwoman at 100 perfect lane who keeps her house clean 24/7 and never has a stitch of dirty laundry to be taken care of. It is FINE and WONDERFUL to do all of that, I too have been in that mode for the past 28 years. . . . But somedays look in the mirror and say "where is Linda, who is Linda, and what does Linda need to do to find Linda again?" I know where Linda the wife, mother, cook, shopper, bill payer, landscaper, appointment setter, housekeeper, and laundress is!!! I need to find that Linda within who somehow got left by the wayside ove the last three decades.

Yes, for some AD's do have a stigma!! Less and less, but it is there! On Christmas day when I was very very sad, keeping my tears hidden but not very much in the holiday spirit I was open with my side of the family and debating AD's. Get this - my 21 yr old neice comes out with 'work through it, you do not want to be a head case.' I did not comment, but thought wow that is a closed mind comment for her to make. I do not wish it on her, or any female, but perhaps when she is hitting 50 she will sit back and think 'now I know what Aunt Linda was going through.' Maybe she won't either.
Like I said, my apprehension is the process a few have shared they had to go through, but if the end justify's the means it will be worth it!

Thanks for your post!! I enjoyed reading it!
Lina
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Re: !! Depression !!

Postby minniepauz » Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:04 am

Linda, I really do think you have a good grasp on what is going on with you and what you need to do about it. I think you're also right about your niece's comment about AD's. Trust in your own knowledge and remember that many others are not educated about certain things in life.

I've been slowly bringing myself back to "head above water" level since about Oct. 2005, when several things happened.....I quit smoking after 42 years, I found out my son was using drugs, I gave my first public presentation with Minnie Pauz and I had to have all my teeth pulled because of periodontal disease. You know how the stress finally came out? Psoroiasis! I'm finally used to wearing dentures (but had a stressful 2 years with it) but this is something I can never reverse, just like the psoriasis.....it's now over 80% of my body and I'm having to decide if I want to try Humira, which has some serious potential side effects (TB, lymphoma and more). Plus I haven't had any insurance through all of this so the financial drain is causing more stress.

I spend a lot of time looking towards positive thinking (The Secret) and am trying to get into A New Earth with Oprah's book club. It makes sense to me to think your way into health and wellbeing (and even wealth), but I'm so darned inconsistent!! :) It helps to put a lot of this into words and put it out there for others to comment on.
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Re: !! Depression !!

Postby Kris » Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:40 am

Linda.... Good for you about the Real Estate adventure! I have a degree in Medical Technology and worked in Ohio for a group of preventative Medical Doctors, for 10 years. After moving to Georgia six years ago, I couldn't find a job, so I went and got my Real Estate license. It was great fun, interesting and I was able to continue using my diminishing "brainpower" (LOL) I think learning something new is a good thing to do. One, you will be very proud of yourself for the accomplishment (I was!) and two, it will give you a good "focus." I had a dear friend of our family, who had suffered much in the same way I had, when she was young girl. She said something to me once that I have never forgotten. She said "To find yourself... you have to lose yourself" I have found that very useful over the years.
I eventually got a job in an environmental lab, here in Atlanta and I discovered I loved the work!! It was way off the path I had been on, but it turned out to be so facinating.......... Chemistry.... who woulda thought.... me.... a chemist. (I made it through Chemistry in college by the skin of my teeth!! LOL) I worked there for four years and then, along with another Chemist from the lab I was working at, opened my own Laboratory two years ago. The stress is unbelieveable.... but I love it!!!
I have to admit there are days when I am in the back, by myself, titrating or doing some tedious task, with tears streaming down my face, wondering how I am gonna get through the day...... but I do :)
So, I say.... go for the gusto..... do something new and exciting,.,.. take a leap of faith and believe in yourself!! You never know what might come of it.
My daughter is far away from me too! She's in St. Louis, seven months pregnant, with my first grandbaby. I am beside myself with anticipation and excitement. I miss her more than I can say, but I am grateful for the closeness we share. Such a blessing for me.
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Re: !! Depression !!

Postby ms_linda » Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:46 am

minniepauz wrote:Linda, I really do think you have a good grasp on what is going on with you and what you need to do about it. I think you're also right about your niece's comment about AD's. Trust in your own knowledge and remember that many others are not educated about certain things in life.

I've been slowly bringing myself back to "head above water" level since about Oct. 2005, when several things happened.....I quit smoking after 42 years, I found out my son was using drugs, I gave my first public presentation with Minnie Pauz and I had to have all my teeth pulled because of periodontal disease. You know how the stress finally came out? Psoroiasis! I'm finally used to wearing dentures (but had a stressful 2 years with it) but this is something I can never reverse, just like the psoriasis.....it's now over 80% of my body and I'm having to decide if I want to try Humira, which has some serious potential side effects (TB, lymphoma and more). Plus I haven't had any insurance through all of this so the financial drain is causing more stress.

I spend a lot of time looking towards positive thinking (The Secret) and am trying to get into A New Earth with Oprah's book club. It makes sense to me to think your way into health and wellbeing (and even wealth), but I'm so darned inconsistent!! :) It helps to put a lot of this into words and put it out there for others to comment on.


Oh my gosh!! I only have a few minutes here, but I am trying to download the podcasts from A New Earth!! For some reason it is not working with my iPOD. I have the book here, only scanned through it so far.

I was AFRAID I had peridontal disease!!! Sorry to read you had to go through that, so far I am ok, just getting crowns and onlays done. Things are better then I feared at the dentists office.

Thanks for the words of empowerment! I really do have to get into gear here, just had a phone call that I did not expect, thus I have to run out the door today. Thought I had a day at home. LOL, so much for planning!

Take care,
Linda
Last edited by ms_linda on Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: !! Depression !!

Postby ms_linda » Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:49 am

Kris wrote:Linda.... Good for you about the Real Estate adventure! I have a degree in Medical Technology and worked in Ohio for a group of preventative Medical Doctors, for 10 years. After moving to Georgia six years ago, I couldn't find a job, so I went and got my Real Estate license. It was great fun, interesting and I was able to continue using my diminishing "brainpower" (LOL) I think learning something new is a good thing to do. One, you will be very proud of yourself for the accomplishment (I was!) and two, it will give you a good "focus." I had a dear friend of our family, who had suffered much in the same way I had, when she was young girl. She said something to me once that I have never forgotten. She said "To find yourself... you have to lose yourself" I have found that very useful over the years.
I eventually got a job in an environmental lab, here in Atlanta and I discovered I loved the work!! It was way off the path I had been on, but it turned out to be so facinating.......... Chemistry.... who woulda thought.... me.... a chemist. (I made it through Chemistry in college by the skin of my teeth!! LOL) I worked there for four years and then, along with another Chemist from the lab I was working at, opened my own Laboratory two years ago. The stress is unbelieveable.... but I love it!!!
I have to admit there are days when I am in the back, by myself, titrating or doing some tedious task, with tears streaming down my face, wondering how I am gonna get through the day...... but I do :)
So, I say.... go for the gusto..... do something new and exciting,.,.. take a leap of faith and believe in yourself!! You never know what might come of it.
My daughter is far away from me too! She's in St. Louis, seven months pregnant, with my first grandbaby. I am beside myself with anticipation and excitement. I miss her more than I can say, but I am grateful for the closeness we share. Such a blessing for me.


Kris
I have to run out the door today, did not plan on that!!! "To find yourself you have to loose yourself" WOW, what a point to ponder!! You words of encouragement warm my heart! I am going to sit down later today and read your text again . . . so much to absorb and I have to get into gear - Wish not, but it is good to be busy too.
Take care
Linda
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Re: !! Depression !!

Postby Kris » Wed Apr 16, 2008 11:11 am

Dee... Wow... you DO have alot on your plate! I am a smoker... an ex-smoker... a smoker, etc...... Kudos to you for quitting!! It is one of the hardest things to do. I have quit several times, for extended periods, but always find myself crumbling under times of stress. I have been smoking again now for several months and not only do I hate myself for it...... it makes me physically ill. Makes no sense. (I'm VERY embarressed to admit my mom died of lung cancer.... I had not been smoking for several years at the time she died and I am very ashamed to futher admit I have started again since :oops: )
I have a few dental problems, but can't imagine what you must have gone through with all yours. Thankfully you have adjusted to all of it.
I used to get Eczema when I was younger and it was not fun. I empathize with you. I know its scarey when the treatment almost seems as bad as the disease sometimes. Its a hugh decision to make. Now days there are so many treatment options, it makes your head swim to try to figure it all out. I hope you find something soon to relieve your psoroisis.
Well.... I better go do some actual work today. It has been so good to be among those who understand, I find myself drawn to my computer instead of my work!! LOL!!
Have a wonderful day!
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Re: !! Depression !!

Postby ms_linda » Thu Apr 17, 2008 7:17 am

minniepauz wrote:Personally, I feel that the AD's are more appropriate for chronic depression instead of the "on and off" variety. I've had a minor level of chronic depression since my mid-20's, but was only on Zoloft for about 5 years in my late 40's when I could not lift myself out. I did have to try several before Zoloft, but they either made me tired or didn't have any effect. With Zoloft (AND a move closer to my kids), I was able to take myself off them and have only used SJW at times I felt myself sleeping too much or just generally feeling down.



AD's - I have been meeting with two different docs, one a female MD who I first saw for my thyroid in October '07. She is fine - just the mega practice she is a part of is a mess. More to that saga that is not important now. I met with her on Monday and she agree's an AD is not right for me. My husband feels I should keep my foot in the door with her just in case I find the new doc I meet with to be too 'off the wall'.

I also started to meet with a male DO,who is my new doc. He is more into taking your temps and the saliva tests. He also feels AD's are not for those of us who have off and on depression. He did give me a prescription for Avitan, however my pharmacy gave me the generic and I really do not think it does much of anything. I have only taken a few, as I have been told you can get addicted to this medication too. (UGH!) He gave me that prescript as a take as need basis.

I only did the hormone saliva test yesterday a.m. and then you 2 day express ship it to the lab. After that they tell you about a week until you get the results, they will be sending those to my DO. Guess I will see what he has to say then.

As it is, I found out recently that my son's girlfiends mom sees a guy who is local to me, about 25/30 mile drive. (I have driven 2 hours each way to meet with one doc that was a HUGE waste of my time) Back to this local doc, he has been Oprah and too wrote a book (which I just ordered a used copy via Amazon) Like every other book, I am going to read it with apprehension! I will include 2 links I have found here on the net (guess I can do that?) I am not trying to promote him!!! Just share info, let me know if that is a 'no - no'. Anyway, I may try to set up an appointment with him if I feel it could be of benifit to me. I do not know just what my son's GF's mom does, I only heard she is doing a cream on her arms and puts drops under her tongue from time to time. My son's GF is a very nice gal, sometimes she is just tuned out to what goes on around her! With that she is sort of clueless as to what is going on w/ her mom. I have put two and two together. LOL!!!!

http://www.antiagingresearch.com/faq_doc_shippen.shtml
http://www.power-surge.com/transcripts/shippen.htm

Ever hear anything about him? Now he also gets into male hormones too, but does address female hormones.
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Depression !!

Postby gorgeousfluffpot » Sat Apr 19, 2008 9:20 am

I don't have any of the sad life experiences that I've been reading about in this post, unless you count the deaths of my parents in the last five years, but I thought I handled that just fine. However, in the last few months I have become increasingly low, feeling very blue and getting quite despondent. I'm not sure what triggered this. I turned 50 in February and, although I had one heck of a party, I found myself looking in the mirror and thinking "where have all the years gone" and despairing of sagging chins and a wobbly belly. It feels like something has changed inside my head .... the confidence and exuberance that I had seems to be trapped behind this wall of gloom and sadness that sometimes feels like it might overwhelm me.
Outside, you'd probably never believe it. I can keep a 'social face' on everything but Mr. Gorgeous knows that I'm having a rough time inside. He doesn't know what to say or do to make it better and asks me often what I want - the trouble is, I don't know what I want, and I don't know what would make me feel better. There's no-one I feel I can open up to because I don't know what's wrong and what would make me feel better, so it is useless boring someone else with an impossible problem!! I'm reluctant to see my doctor as I don't think taking a handful of tablets would, for me, be the answer ... however, I acknowledge that this is a workable solution for other people and respect your decision, but it's just not for me. Counselling? Well, if I don't know what the answer is then I doubt someone else would, plus I'd probably end up crying (and I HATE crying, hate it hate it, stiff upper lip and all that!!)
There's grey days here in the UK at the moment, horrible weather, general house prices crashing (doesn't help that we're trying to sell our house and getting nowhere fast) and the radio and news are full of economic gloom. Is gloom contagious? Or is it the weather. We haven't had many bright days this year but I do feel more positive and brighter when the sun is out, although there is still this 'veil' of sadness inside.
There are some days where I really feel like I could sit down and cry, but I grit my teeth and think "pull yourself together" and put on the smiling face that social behaviour dictates one must have. Is this a chemical depression, caused by hormones? Or is it a "landmark 50th birthday" depression? Or even part of the gloom 'n doom contagion that seems to be in the UK currently? :??:
I wish I knew how to pull myself out of this, I wish I knew what the answers were. Still, I feel better writing this and letting off a bit of steam. Maybe this will pass. It is so unlike me. Oooooh, pull yourself together Gorgeous!!!!!!
Take cover! Hormones on the rampage again ...
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Re: !! Depression !!

Postby minniepauz » Sat Apr 19, 2008 10:22 am

Gorgeous, I truly think you might be ready for "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle....Oprah's newest book club choice (first time I've ever gotten involved with it) and she's doing something never done before....she has live telecast conversations with the author on every chapter of the book. That is so helpful!! I bought the book, then couldn't really get into it, tried to be there on Mon. nights for the tele class, but it was too late for me. I was getting really behind (or rather not getting anywhere) and I finally sat at the computer for 90 min. to listen to one class....then I read the chapter they had discussed and it made so much more sense....after listening to 3 classes online, I've been able to scan through the book chapters much easier. Next Monday they will be discussing chapter 8 I think but I'm slowly catching up....I should have listened to 6 classes by Monday and then I'll do one a day to catch up by the next Monday. :)

I'll give you a hint as to what I've gotten so far and hopefully it will help you resolve your unanswered questions about how you're feeling: Everything we think and feel is based on our ego, which is not who we are. The ego directs us to think certain ways, to worry about things we can't control, to try to be something we're not or do work we hate, or feel guilt and a million other things that keeps us from being in the moment. If we live in the moment, we're concious and aware.... well, I'm really NOT the person to try to describe this, but listening to the conversation between Eckhart and Oprah has brought me to a place where I can finally see that it IS possible to learn how to be happy. Much of what he says we have heard in different ways, but I think these teleclasses are the answer for me!! They even allow people to call in questions (it's free on Skype) and that clarifies points even more.

I'm not sure, but it just MIGHT be what you need! Go to http://www.oprah.com and you'll see how to watch the previous videos.....have some time for yourself, a cup of tea or wine and just listen to the first one and see what you think. I personally could not have gotten into this without the classes...my mind was not grasping the concept from the book. I do hope it helps, but if not, at least you continue to search....just don't give up. What you're feeling is totally common in millions of women.....I've spoken with thousands of them over the past 10 years!
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minniepauz
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