Irrational fears and worries, particularly at night

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Irrational fears and worries, particularly at night

Postby gorgeousfluffpot » Wed Nov 22, 2006 1:44 pm

Reading some of the other posts on this forum, I know I'm not alone in what I'm currently experiencing but I wanted to write it down anyway to make me feel better. I can cope with physical symptoms of per-menopause but am now getting emotional swings, a totally new experience for me since I have rarely suffered with PMS during my periods. What's happening for me is that I seem to be losing my confidence - previously a very confident and decisive woman, I am now getting the dithers at making decisions on quite silly things - it's like I cannot resolve in my mind what to do. Worst, though, is that late at night, in bed with my sleeping husband next to me, for some reason my thoughts become very dark and almost grief-like - I listen to him snoring (LOUD!!!!) and think, oh cripes, what if he dies? What will I do, who will love me, etc.? Then I think: what if I die? And then every small ache or twinge that I experience suddenly becomes like a harbinger of a terrible disease - is that stomach cramp the start of cancer? Is that small headache the harbinger of an aneurysm? Gosh, this sounds so daft while I am typing this but, believe me, my brain starts to go round in circles and I start imagining my husband dying or suffering from some dreadful long drawn-out terminal disease, me dying, etc.
I lost both my parents in the last few years and have dealt with that fine and got my grief out, so I don't think that what I am experiencing is an 'echo' of that grief. It's more like grief for the future - if that makes sense - and it is happening more and more. However, most nights I'm fine and then suddenly, in bed, I feel so alone and scared for the future. I get scared about being a widow and dying alone in my bed and my body not being found for months! My fears are totally stupid and irrational - after all, when I'm dead will I really care what is happening to my corpse - but I can't get these thoughts out of my head.
I believe this must be connected to hormone swings and perhaps what I feel is what many of you have had over many years with PMS but this is new - and scary - for me.
Now I feel better for writing this and back to the happy gorgeousfluffpot that I am normally am. It's my hormones that decide whether I disintegrate into a trembling and terrififed hypochondriac tonight or get a good night's sleep.
Any advice, ladies? Thanks for listening, anyway :)
Take cover! Hormones on the rampage again ...
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Postby niftyfifty1 » Thu Nov 23, 2006 12:47 am

Been there, done that too.
Just so you know you are not alone. Still happens sometimes to me, but not as much as before. I know what you mean about some of it being actually silly. But in our mind it is overwhelming.
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Postby minniepauz » Thu Nov 23, 2006 11:28 am

Yes, this is more common as we reach what I have called the "middle rages". I personally think it's because we get closer to the reality of life (and death). We have seen more, we know more of what is likely to happen and it can be quite overwhelming to face the onset of REALITY. I know this is what made me quit smoking after 43 years (1yr 9mo. now!). I had a vision of the possible consequences of the smoking...cancer or emphysema and what it would be like if I came down with either. I could literally see my grandkids asking about my oxygen tank that I would have to take everywhere....I could "see" my kids' resentment for having to take care of me....I decided this was not the way I want to spend the 20 to 30 years I have left (I'm 58 and women in my family live quite long lives), so I quit.

If somehow you can convert the fears you're experiencing and turn it into something more practical....like maybe, a sign that you and hubby should get those annual checkups or a reason to do more research on a subject: I was very worried about having a stroke (this is true) so I did a bunch of research so that I feel that I would be able to deal with this in the proper way.

The other thing that will help is to learn to immediately exchange the dreadful thoughts for something very pleasant and simple to repeat...one of mine (when I start the worrying thing at night) is "everything in my life is as it should be". I repeat it as many times as it takes to get my mind on a different track and it even helps my breathing. It may sound silly, but it's been proven that our thoughts create our reality and this is how I "manage" my thoughts. :) Hope this helps!!
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Postby parts2you » Sun Nov 26, 2006 9:16 pm

oh my gosh,this was me to the tee...this weekend. ive been fighting bad headaches all week. to me they got progressively worse.fri night,i laid in bed,and it was so bad,i was literally afraid to go to sleep... i might not wake up....what if i am here dead till monday,when my boss would finally call my daughter or come around....then my daughters got to find me,all stiff and whatever else.......i kept tellin myself,i been thru these headaches before, i had to relax,or i was gonna go into a panic attack on top of it!! finally,i fell asleep and when i woke up,it was like.....yep,im still alive!!
i guess its like everyone said,its the hormones,plus the experiences weve all been thru now with people we know with illness and death...and the fact,we know we are getting older.
as someone said, these times have gotten less frequent with me.....it was really bad for me during the peri-----but i feel for ya,i know it is not a pleasant thing to deal with. it helps to know that you are not the only one to experience this......so thanks for this post,also!
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Postby suse3349 » Fri Jan 26, 2007 6:27 am

Morbid thoughts. I usually have them; part of my PMS. Thoughts of my mother dead, my kids in car accidents and dead, my husband - dead. I have some health problems, and of course think about my mortality. :roll:
I'm alone most of the time, and THAT can be a huge problem; I'm told I think too much! Kind of hard not to! So I click on the TV, or radio, read - anything to keep my mind off things I really have no control over.
My 40's. My body seems to be betraying me; it's more difficult to lose weight; I'm a raging lunatic, or a mass of tears for about 3 weeks out of each month. I've had a disabling stroke, and I'm off again to my doc's today for a cardiac problem. (I'm in one of "those" moods now; can you tell?)
You are NOT alone!! Hang in there - I will!!!!
suse3349 :P
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.
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Postby colopam » Fri Jan 26, 2007 7:34 am

Suse
Be sure to share what's going on with your Dr. and family, don't just bottle it up you don't need that stress alone.

Hugs Pam
It's never too late for a happy childhood!!
The more you live, the less you die!!
Well behaved women rarely make history.
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peri/hypothyroid/fibroids(myomectomy)
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I've had the opposite happen to me

Postby itsgottabehormonesmary » Wed Oct 03, 2007 10:29 pm

Hi Ladies. After reading the previous posts, I have had the opposite happen to me. Not that I didn't go through some of the very same thoughts, feelings, previously. I have had a complete 'meltdown' especially at work (I work with developmentally-disabled adults and have always liked this type of work), I have been frustrated, overwhelmed, somewhat depressed, angry. After going through all these feelings and more, today I feel like I want to roar. I think I am going through reverse puberty. I suddenly don't care what anyone thinks of me or what I say. At work, I used to be such a 'company' person (and let work determine who I was), I was 100% behind the company, tried to live up to their ideal, etc. When I found out after 9 years, (and I was always told that I went above and beyond what was expected of me, I discovered that our last pay raise was based on our most recent evaluation. Imagine my surprise when my total evaluation wasn't high enough to merit a lousy 10cents more an hour increase and I just got the standard raise. I was even the nominee for the department that I was in employee of the year award (of course I didn't win it, thank goodness - I didn't believe in that crap, just give me the raise), that was when I crashed. I eventually changed departments, and again within the last month. I feel like I am becoming the biggest menopausal Bitch around. I caused an uproar over toilet paper not being the bathroom when I had to use paper towels to wipe myself because no-one restocked the toilet paper in the bathroom. When my room was cleaned overnight and I came in to find things knocked down, moved around, not put back, I went right to the source and let them know about it. Even called up the supervisor on the phone about it. Needless to say, I caused an uproar because I didn't go 'through the proper channels' (my boss) and now I started 'something.' The funny thing is that I don't regret what I said or did and now the ones who didn't do the work right are pissed off at me, etc.

Is this part of the menopause experience? At one time I would have stood back, meek-and-mild, not said anything, kept it all in and stewed about it AND would have talked myself into believing the biggest lie that I think we women tell ourselves - 'that it's alright". Now, I just let loose with my mouth. I feel like I want to ROAR!!!!!! I can't stand incompetence anymore and I want to scream. Are any of you ladies experiencing the same type of thing? And, you know what, I don't even care that I did it or said it!

Any advice for the "Menopausal Bitch"?

thanks again :shock:
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