How much are menopause symptoms used as an excuse???

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How much are menopause symptoms used as an excuse???

Postby Pam » Wed Apr 09, 2008 10:48 am

Hi everyone, this is a different Pam, so just call me Pam2 :D

Out of the blue 24 years ago I started getting panic attacks, I was 32 when they started.

My life has not been the same since. I have come a long way since then, and lead a normal life, but emotionally they have left so many scars and tons of fears. I don’t get panic attacks any longer, but I am extremely prone to anxiety. I take Paxil, and use Klonopin when needed, but that is mostly at night if I have trouble sleeping. I rarely, if ever, take it during the day.

I had an endometrial ablation (Novasure) 3 years ago, and 3 months after I had the procedure, my periods finally stopped for good. I had suffered terribly with my period since I got it when I was 15, and when it finally ending it was a gift from God.

The day my bleeding finally stopped, the hot flashes and night sweats began. I can totally deal with the hot flashes and night sweats, that is not my problem at all, the part that is most difficult is the emotional affect it has had on me. I constantly worry about things that I can’t control, and I know that I do this. I just can’t figure out how to stop it. When my life is calm and quiet, I am fine, but when there is a bump in the road, I drive myself crazy with worry. My Mom has been in and out of the hospital the last few years, and I am a nervous wreck when she is not doing well. I feel like I force myself to look for things to worry about. I think all of the years of unbearable anxiety have left me with a constant fear that I will totally lose it if something devastating happens in my life.

Now that I am in menopause, the constant mood swings, anxiety, and bouts of crying just seem to intensify what I am feeling. I went through a major break-up 1 year ago, and am still working my way through that loss, and I have been in therapy for the last couple of years, which really helps me. My therapist constantly tells me I have come so far with my anxiety in the last year, but I am so hard on myself. I just want to feel happy more often and enjoy my life, but I feel like I am in a constant battle with my thoughts and emotions. I work so hard on trying to improve the things about myself that I don’t like, but it’s a constant struggle.

I always wonder how much of what I am feeling when I am on one of those emotional roller coasters is made worse from being in menopause, and how much of it is just anxiety that comes from life when it is difficult??? I have seen Oprah when they talk about menopause, and how the mood swings can make your life miserable. I see the women in the audience, and hear their stories, and totally understand what they are feeling. But if I talk to a close friend (who has absolutely no menopausal symptoms) about what I am feeling, and use my mood swings due to menopause as an reason, she just rolls her eyes and says stop using your menopause as an excuse for what is going on in your life.

So my question to all of you who understand what I am going through is … how much do the emotional symptoms of menopause really have an effect on us, and how much do we use them as an excuse when we feel so out of control emotionally because of what is going on in our lives???

Thanks so much …
Pam2
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Re: How much are menopause symptoms used as an excuse???

Postby minniepauz » Wed Apr 09, 2008 2:10 pm

Pam2...I really wish I had more time to give your post a more thorough response, but unfortunately I don't. I will say this though.....I do use menopause as an excuse for a lot of things but it's usually in humor. There's a big difference than if you try this:
Image

I believe we become more concious during menopause, which heightens everything...our moods, our sensitivity, etc. This can work both ways when the good things are heightened and also the bad. Just as we are trying to find a balanced state of our hormones, we're trying to do the same with our lives. No one has a perfectly happy life...I'm sure you know that, but the ones who seem to do it so well know how to BALANCE the good and bad. You have to expect and accept the not so good times and find the best way for you to get through it without falling apart. For some that might mean medication, for others it means taking time out to take care of yourself...maybe a weekend away.

Mostly it's the effort we each make to be healthy in body, mind and spirit. I've found that it doesn't just happen and it's not easy to KEEP it all in balance, but that's the journey we're on and at our age we have more tools to work with . Hope this all made sense and is helpful.

Welcome to the forum!!
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Re: How much are menopause symptoms used as an excuse???

Postby Pam » Wed Apr 09, 2008 2:23 pm

Thanks for your reply Dee.
It makes sense, now I just have to figure out how to do it!!! :hmm:
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Re: How much are menopause symptoms used as an excuse???

Postby minniepauz » Thu Apr 10, 2008 7:38 am

Yes, that's the challenge, Pam, finding our own individual path to balance. That's why forums like this are so helpful, not because what works for one will work for all, but it's possible that by hearing so many varied experiences, we very well may find our own solutions. :)
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Re: How much are menopause symptoms used as an excuse???

Postby bobbi54 » Tue May 27, 2008 12:43 pm

Hi Pam (and this is for you too Dee as I sooooo appreciate this site) We really do go through so many different symptoms during menopause. I have a girlfriend that was once so outgoing and now hardly goes outside. She freaks out about everything and the depression is terrible. I do think that some symptoms are related to what's going on in our lives as stress just adds to the symptoms. I'm trying to let women know about this great article I read that I got from a good friend. It's
about an all natural product created by two sisters that have gone through what we're going through right now. It is doing wonders for my friend so I bought some and after only two weeks I'm seeing such a difference I can hardly believe it. I'm passing the word on to every woman I know. Here's the article. Click on any of the red sub titles and it will take you to their site. They seems like pretty amazing women. I don't pass on things unless it looks good - and this works. Finally!!!
Bobbi

Note from Admin: the article is ok, but I'm not convinced about the product they're selling so I don't want to give them free advertising without knowing more about it.
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