I've been talking to myself for months trying to find the motivation to quit, but it was this last time that I got sick that really scared me. I used to get bronchitis once a year, but this year I had it 3 or 4 times and I was coughing so hard that I pulled a muscle in my stomach which made it very painful to even move, much less cough. Also, I couldn't cough anything up because I couldn't take a deep enough breath. I think I was very close to pneumonia...this was going on for about a week and not getting any better and there I was, lighting a f****** cigarette!! All of a sudden, I thought, "what if this cough doesn't go away this time? what if I've had my last chance?" I was thinking that how I was feeling was NOTHING compared to what I would feel if I had emphysema or lung cancer. The reality of the situation really hit me and I said "that's it.....I'm not going to be stupid any more!" I literally scared myself! You know what, reading about a fellow cartoonists' mom's cancer http://www.momscancer.com/ brought it home to me also. She was a smoker.
I had bought the Commit lozenges back in January, but only tried it once, so this time I figured I'd do it since you immediately feel the nicotine getting into your system. Also, I think with it involving something in your mouth, it's more effective than the patches. I only used them for a few days because I found out it only takes 72 hours for all the nicotine to be out of your body and I thought it was silly to keep putting more in there after that. From that point on, I kept my focus on the reality of my smoking habit......I quit telling myself I wanted a cigarette.....quit telling myself that it tastes good (yuck!). I even lit one whenever I thought I wanted one.....didn't inhale and proved to myself again that it tastes like crap, smells like crap and there's no logical reason why I should ever smoke again!
I still have a carton of cigarettes here!! I knew it wasn't going to do any good to get rid of them.
This is what I've been looking at to not smoke: http://www.tobaccoprogram.org/smokinglungs.htm
http://www.lungcancer.org/patients/lc_1 ... _main.htm# It's helping me... I've read that our lungs will repair themselves over time if we don't put any more tar, nicotine and carbon monoxide in them, so I'm shooting for pink lungs again!!
I use sugar free candies to suck on instead of the lozenges, don't feel the craving for nicotine anymore. The mental thing is more difficult and I do get irritable during times I would normally reach for a cigarette (talking on the phone, after eating, driving in the car.......crap, when DIDN'T I smoke!), but each time I think about it, I just tell myself this is not as hard as it would be if I had cancer, etc. Then as you get more days under your belt, you start feeling better, breathing better, smelling better.....oh my god, do I smell better!
My grandkids (and kids) are all so proud of me, but mainly I'm proud of myself. I AM gaining some weight, but my next goal is to start going to a gym (or something like Curves) and start getting healthy. I'm going to be 57 next month and plan on being in the best shape of my life before I turn 60. I know, it's 3 years, but it took me 57 years to get into such terrible shape, so I thought I'd better give myself a little time to turn it around!
Oh, the most amazing discovery since I quit is how much time I wasted before, all for the sake of sucking smoke, tar, nicotine and carbon monoxide into my lungs. It's almost funny when I find myself in a situation where I would have been smoking and now I have that time to fill with something else......right now it's filled by eating something, hahahah, but I know I'll get that under control in the near future. I did it once before when I lost 55 lbs. and it wasn't the smoking that helped me lose the weight!
I've also rewarded myself with things like a new toaster oven (something I really don't need but always wanted) and a better car! I was going to buy a cheap used car to replace the one that was rusting away, but I got a more expensive used car because I know I can make the payments with the $140+ per month I'm saving from not buying cigarettes.
The one downside (for everyone else) is that now I'm a reformed smoker.......worse than someone who's found religion! I can't stand the smell of smoke on someone else, in buildings, even on the street! And I keep thinking how I smelled before.....sure, it's fine when you're only around other smokers, but it's in your hair, all your clothes, your purse, your books......and people can smell you coming!!! hahahaha.....that's what my non-smoking cousin told me last night, that she could smell me coming (before) and could smell if I'd been there.
We all knew this stuff all along. We knew the dangers and the disgusting parts of smoking. Now we just have to accept the reality of it. I was the most committed smoker you could have......43 years and I "loved" smoking. If I can do it, anybody can do it!
