Painful Intimacy issues-

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Painful Intimacy issues-

Postby Linnie » Wed May 26, 2004 11:29 am

Hello All,
I am 51 and in menopause for 2 years now. The more women I mention this painful intimacy problem to, the more common I am hearing it is!! I wonder why no one ever told us that sex was going to be so painful during menopause!!! Fortunately, my hubby understands and there are ways around it but things are not the same for me. I feel old and uninterested as if sex is a thing of the past and only indulge to keep my hubby happy and to keep intimacy alive which I feel is important. They say "use it or lose it" but the equipment just doesn't work!!!!! Someone told me this is what they mean when they insult an older women by calling her "a dried up old rag!!!!" How mean!!!
I have cyctic breasts and so cannot take any estrogens, even plant estrogens were not advised by my GYN. I use progesteron cream and eat some soy but no change. I have tried KY jelly and Replens and that doesn't help. I feel as if I am made of sandpaper inside!!!! The burning is unbearable after any full intimacy and lasts a full day. I have heard so much about this from other women and we all seem to be in a bind (those of us who cannot take estrogen.)
My cousin took Prempro for one year as soon as she entered menopause, then stopped it. Never had this painful problem at all, is age 55 and has an active enjoyable sex life with her spouse. Is sex after 50 a rarity?? :( If the tissue of the walls in there are thinning and I cannot use estrogen, then it seems that there is no solution. It also seems unfair of Mother Nature to have women's bodies go through this and not men's. It makes things very unbalanced at mid-life for couples.
Thanks for listening.
Linnie
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Postby Zero » Wed May 26, 2004 2:17 pm

Hi Linnie! Welcome to our little corner of the world! You might want to check out my friend, Susun Weed's site...this page in particular: http://www.menopause-metamorphosis.com/ ... vagina.htm

Also, you should post your question to Dr. Judy in the "Ask the Professionals" section of this board.

There may not be one easy solution, but don't give up, something is bound to work that will help you, ok? :)
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Thanks Minniepz!!!!

Postby Linnie » Thu May 27, 2004 8:54 am

Thanks so much for that web site - looks like there are lots of things to try to remedy this situation. I have to tell this to a good friend of mine who is very down over this "dry painful" issue also. :D
Will let you know how it turns out. Thanks again so much!!
-Lin
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Postby Class » Thu May 27, 2004 1:18 pm

I am very surprised that your doctor hasn't suggested a vaginal estrogen -- Estrace, Premarin, Estriol, and Ogen are some that are available. There is also Estring which is a vaginal silicone ring. Any of these products will help with the dryness you are experiencing...
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Dryness

Postby Linnie » Thu May 27, 2004 2:48 pm

Hi Class,
My regular doctor did prescribe estriol cream but my GYN said that because of my cystic breasts (one is a painful nodule that they say is from hormonal changes and not a cyst) that I cannot use the esriol cream or ring because some of it does get into the blood. Doesn't even want me to take products with isoflavonoids in them such as fortified soy products. However, I have a great Health Food store near me with a pharmacist who is very knowledgable and he said that there is good and bad estrogen and that I can use creams with the good estrogen in them so will check further into that with him for this particular problem. :) I am determined to get this resolved.
Linnie
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Postby Class » Fri May 28, 2004 11:31 am

Hmmmmm, I guess it just depends on one's doctor because my GP recommends the use of vaginal estrogen (particularly estriol, which is the weakest one) for women with cystic breasts. She told me that only a very small amount gets into the blood stream. Why not post this question to Dr. Judy?
Class
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Postby Terri » Sat May 29, 2004 4:52 pm

I also have this same problem and was too afraid to say anything to anyone. I am 43 and my Husband is 48. We are sexually active also, but due to dryness and irritation, we have cut it down to only once a month. The doctor gave me several samples of Astroglide and it really works. It is a water-based product and lasts longer and better than K-Y Jelly. But afterwards, oh, for about a week I am also very sore and irritated. I use the K-Y for the irritation and it seems to work and it doesn't stain clothing. I am not saying it will work for everyone, just another solution.. Good luck, Terri
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Postby pamibe » Sat May 29, 2004 5:04 pm

Hey, ya'll. Me too. What more is there to say? LOL!! Yep, use Astroglide, etc...
The last gyno I went to did prescribe vaginal estrogen cream but I didn't use it because of the risks. I know, I know! I'm not using anything and didn't want to start...
Hang in there, everyone! 8)

Pam
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Postby mjiminez » Mon Jul 19, 2004 3:26 pm

Hi, everyone. I have just found this board last week and have learned a lot. I have the dizziness thing, also, am 53, and sex has become very painful for me also. I have been married for thirty six years, since I was seventeen and sex was extremely important to me. I know women who would be thrilled if they could use painful sex as an excuse not to have it, but I am not one of them. I liked sex and now feel that has also been taken from me. It has made me feel very old. My husband accepts this fact of painful sex willingly, but I DON'T! My husband is not the type to cheat, is extremely honest and very religious. He says he would rather simply have me here to talk to and be with than to hurt me by having sex. I have tried everything except HRT, which I refuse to try. I have the samdpaper feeling when having sex and afterwards I am sore for a couple of days. I don't really know if I am asking for help or not. I just wanted the women in this thread to know they aren't alone in this. I love this board, but cannot understand why there are so many topics with so many people viewing the topics and no one answering them. I think it would be a fabulous board if there would be more discussion going. Are we all just too TIRED from menopause to answer? Thank you all and good luck to everyone!
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Postby Zero » Mon Jul 19, 2004 4:13 pm

mjiminez, thanks for bringing up the "not enough discussion" topic. :) I've wondered the same thing..... we have nearly 500 registered members, but only a few who post. All I can hope for is that people ARE being helped by reading and will someday realize that their experiences could also be helping someone else.

Well, this board is just what it is.....kind of like Minnie Pauz, she is what she is too! :wink:

I would encourage those of you with this issue (dry, painful sex) to check out the "Double Menopause" thread, where Dr. Nancy Cetel may be able to give you further recommendations. http://www.minniepauz.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=316
Zero
 

Re: Painful Intimacy issues-

Postby hoosier54 » Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:07 pm

I'm 55 and my Dr. prescribed premarin cream for 2 months and then use the estrogen vaginal ring. She said it will help the vaginal dryness. I have been hearing great reviews on " the ring". Just started using it this week. Anyone else out there that has used the ring??
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Re: Painful Intimacy issues-

Postby minniepauz » Mon Jul 13, 2009 7:43 am

Welcome, hoosier54! Thanks for joining our group....my girlfriend has been using an IUD and is totally happy with it (over 5 years now). I don't know anyone who has used the ring but it sounds like it might be the answer for this problem! Thanks for sharing your experience and keep us updated, ok?
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