Breakthrough!!!!!!!!

A section for men to discuss how they handle their special ladie's menopause.

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Breakthrough!!!!!!!!

Postby Boanergez » Mon Jan 29, 2007 5:45 am

I posted over on the 'Discussions' area, but since this area is for men, wanted to post this here as well, for the fellas to ponder as they voyage in this odd time with their maidens.
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Hello everyone,

This weekend was the best weekend in the last 3 months with my maiden. She finally, for the first time, after so much turmoil, anger, mood swings and 30 of the 35 items of 'Peri' finally admitted that she was in the midst of such and felt terrible for her behavior and what was happening to her.

She cried and was sweet to me and most kind and it was a beautiful time. While she was fully attentive and not angry, I explained that this onsetting event was normal, not bad, that it was the change and it was good and it had no bearing on my love and adoration for her and that she was still the most beautiful maiden in the whole world and that God was in is best mood when he built her for me, in all ways!

I assured her that there will be ups and downs and that this too was normal and that all the myriad of oddball things that were happening to her was just the normal course of life and that she would prevail and triumph over it. I informed her that she was not alone, nor was she thought less of nor would I ever compromise her through this time and that since I had gone through so much tragedy (loss of momma, daddy, wife and this maiden: http://www.behold-the-rage.com/resnik.html )

...that her being in this time of flux was no big deal at all and it is and can be a joyous time of patience and resolve in the ides of love. I also told her that I would be there for her, to the last breath........as I have with all that I have loved, and that have gone away downstream in memory.

I noted that when we had our many long talks this weekend, I heard myself quoting and repeating what I have read and learned here at this wonderful site from all you dear ladies and your lamentations, because so many of you dear ladies are very self effacing, honest, and descriptive of what you are going through and you all seem to word it so well that a man, like me, can understand and have empathy and learn from all of you and this site. I thank you so much!!!!!!

She also now wants the list of 35, and wants to visit here and study what is here and to feel, that no, she is not insane and not alone and not at some 'end of life' event. She also wants to see my posts and the interaction here. I hope she can follow through with this, without undo pressure on my part to do so.

As a refresher, I am 54, she is Asian-Peruvian (Latina), 43, no children and we are not married and we have been devoted to one another for 6 years. Neither of us have divorces in our past and I am her first true love.

My intro here at 'Mini' is here:
http://minniepauz.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2648

And for you all, do not ever give up the zest for love and romance and self worth. Those in your life who love you, love you completely, always, and you will prevail, no matter how vexing this stage is. It is the mark of the glory of being a woman, being alive, and for most, bringing forth life, the most profound act in life a woman can do. So, know this! And it is simply a transition to the rest of the voyage.

Thank you all and the adventure in heart continues.........

Boanergez
Boanergez
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Postby Starpoint12 » Mon Jan 29, 2007 11:00 pm

Congrats! It's a great feeling when you both can come to the realization that the big M (as our son calls it) is hitting. I'll bet you're relieved and she is too. We males will never understand how it must feel but we can be there to help them through it....it's never as frightening when you've got a friend going through the shadows with you. Kudos Boanergez! You're one in a million. Hang in there as your relationship will only get stronger!
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Stress

Postby 47ekim » Thu Aug 16, 2007 2:08 pm

I have been going through this with my girlfriend of 5 years for the past year, but this summer has been the worse. I get confused as to how to handle her, she gets to were she can't stand to be around me, and I just keep trying to hang in and survive, hoping for better days. She will actually go days at a time without talking to me...I know she has a lot of personal stuff and M going on at once, so I try to be understanding. I would just hate to loose our relationship due to this, but I feel like I'm the only one who has an interest in it anymore...Any suggestions, Gentlemen..Ladies...
47ekim
 

Re: Stress

Postby hotpatootie » Sat Aug 18, 2007 6:06 pm

47ekim wrote:I have been going through this with my girlfriend of 5 years for the past year, but this summer has been the worse. I get confused as to how to handle her, she gets to were she can't stand to be around me, and I just keep trying to hang in and survive, hoping for better days. She will actually go days at a time without talking to me...I know she has a lot of personal stuff and M going on at once, so I try to be understanding. I would just hate to loose our relationship due to this, but I feel like I'm the only one who has an interest in it anymore...Any suggestions, Gentlemen..Ladies...
Hi you poor bastard.

There were quite a few times where I would just have to leave the house, because I knew if my husband even looked at me funny or said anything that I might think was "the wrong thing." I would fly off of the handle and do him bodily harm. I kid you not.

It is best just to leave her alone when she starts acting strangley, I even got to the point where I would call and warn my husband that the "bad Debbie" was coming home. We even started laughing about "my evil twin".

For me I think alot of it was I had to control myself at work so many times to keep form coming unglued at people, that I'd let it out at home, and of course we always hurt the ones we love.

She will get through this and so will you. And if you can stick it out, it will be well worth it. You just have to know that it is not you or anything you are doing or not doing.

She is on a hormonal roller-coaster and has no control, believe me it is almost totally impossible to keep from turning into a crazy woman at times. So you might as well just buckle up and hang on too.
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Postby 47ekim » Mon Aug 20, 2007 7:10 am

Thank you...I'm sure she can relate to you, because she works in a lab, were she can not afford to go off on anyone. Yes it is her evil twin and we both know it. Sometimes she realizes when her emotions are overwhelmed and I will just keep away from her for awhile, so as she can get things in check.
Thanks for your advice...everyones been so helpful, it really helps and it helps me to understand her more too...
47ekim
 

Postby hotpatootie » Mon Aug 20, 2007 7:47 am

47ekim wrote:Thank you...I'm sure she can relate to you, because she works in a lab, were she can not afford to go off on anyone. Yes it is her evil twin and we both know it. Sometimes she realizes when her emotions are overwhelmed and I will just keep away from her for awhile, so as she can get things in check.
Thanks for your advice...everyones been so helpful, it really helps and it helps me to understand her more too...
Oh good I do hope it helps a bit. I just got real sullen and quiet at work. Some people would ask me what was wrong, or if they had done something to offend me, because I was really not myself. I'd just say "it's menopause !!! and you are lucky I am just acting this way at work." :roll:
hotpatootie
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Joined: Sat Aug 07, 2004 8:44 am
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