Anxiety again need a hug

[Liette]

First I want to thank you all for this forum. I don't always post but I do visit. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for quite a while now. I know that it's hormonal because it happened when I was a teenager and after I had my son.

I suffer from chronic back pain and my doctor is finally sending me to see specialist. I've had back problems since I was 25. I have osteoarthritis in my back. To make a long story short after feeling reasonably well for quite a while the anxiety and depression have come down again full force. Mornings are the absolute worst, I hate to even open my eyes. I'm in pain, anxious and don't want to face another day. I think people think I'm lazy but if they only knew how awful I feel. I've heard that there's a link between chronic pain and anxiety & depression. So add that to menopause and I literally could tear my hair out. I'm not working and my hobby is sewing which I can't at the moment because it causes more back pain. I'm having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I suffered a really serious bout of depression 4 years ago for which I was hospitalized and I don't even want to go there again.

I just needed to tell someone. Thank you for listening.

[minniepauz]

Liette....I can feel for you girlfriend! I think what you need is a doctor (naturalist or whatever) that you can say "I'm sick and tired of feeling this way and I need help to find a course of treatment that will help improve my quality of living!"

Maybe that's why you're finally being sent to a specialist? I wish you all the best and hope some of your pain is resolved soon. We just have to keep at it until we force someone to listen.

Thanks for coming back and sharing with us. We'll be thinking of you and waiting to hear what the results of your visit bring.

[Seventeen_At_Heart]

dear Liette
I have lived with my brave husband for nearly 20 years...for the last 18 of those he has been diagnosed with osteoarthritis of the spine (which has spread to other joints with him).
It has led to depression with him, understandably, as with you.
Chronic (constant) pain is a terrible thing, and long term meds have side effects.

Sorry to not say too much more now, (had an awful day) but just wanted to say - you are understandably depressed.

Us women can fight back hormonally against this, and I am sure it must affect some prematurely...so don't worry that it will get worse....

will come back as soon as possible to this. (((hug)))

[michelilow]

Hi,
I can really understand how you are feeling with the anxiety & depression, having been a sufferer most of my life. The depression started when I was a child & came again in my teens when I was perscribed medication for a few months.
I suffered post natal depression after both of my children & was on medication for 13 years, as I don't think my GP knew what else to do with me.
As soon as I hit 40 & the perimenopause symptoms started up I felt suicidal & the meds made no difference. So I finally took myself off them in Feb 2004, as my body couldn't tolerate them. It was a rough ride but I prefer to rely on a low dose of St John's Wort to keep me stable. I had a counsellor for two years who was amazing & taught me a lot of ways of coping.
Just over a year ago now, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after suffering for years with pain & it can make me feel so low, so I know what you must be going through.
However, in Oct 2007 my teenage daughter was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma & is currently undergoing chemotherapy. She has to endure radiotherapy next & I honestly don't know how I am coping but I am somehow. Also, I found out last Weds that my father has got cancer as well.
So what I am trying to say is, hang in there, as things may seem bleak right now but they will get better! My daughter Holly has shown amazing strength in the past few months & you will find it too, to get through this terrible time!
Take care
Michele

[minniepauz]

Bless all of you, Michelle!! Please know that your daughter and father will be in so many prayers after reading your post!

I'm glad you are managing your depression with less drugs. These days I don't know who to trust about what is prescribed. You have to understand how St. John's Wort works too so make sure you learn as much as you can. I use it too after being on Zoloft for 5 years, but you're supposed to give it a break after a few months I think....

Thanks for helping others during a very trying time.

[CathyW]

((((Liette)))) big hugs to you! I am so sorry you are going through this. I too have fought the anxiety/depression for the last few years. Talking to friends that understand has been what has saved me. Post often~these wonderful woman here will be a great help.



Michelle

Your daughter and father are in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong. Please give Holly a big hug from all of us here at Minnie Pauz

CAthy

[colopam]

Liette
Yep I've not only been in the basement of the abyss I've redecorated it more than a few times!!!OMG...There've been thoughts at times of "it would be soooo easy...." fill in the blank. Havent had anything that bad for quite awhile now though but I have had the quickest temper around and anxiety attaacks so bad I just neede to curl up in a dark corner somewhere as well as the drop of a hat weepies. My Dr. (love her!) gave me a script for an antidepressant and I've been on such a level that I just wish I could have tried it sooner... I had tried other things before and felt drugged out or just disconnected with no emotional affect but this is wonderful for me at this time...hopefully as soon as the peri/meno rollercoaster slows and stops I can go off but I don't necessarily think that's probable (lots of depression in my family and they didn't get help...and one a nurse and another a Dr.!!! jeesh!)...I'm glad you've found us! know that you'll be in our thoughts and prayers.

Hugs Pam

[Seventeen_At_Heart]

Liette
and
Michele

thinking of you now....
you don't always have to be strong, you both have good reasons for feeling very down.
I pray that you'll both have some strong arms to hold and comfort you.
I pray for healing for you both, and your daughter, Michele.

[gorgeousfluffpot]

Liette and Michele, I wish I could give you some words of advice but I don't have any experience in this at all. Just wanted to say that I'm sending you good wishes across the universe I know that there's a lot of Minniepauzers like us who are sending good wishes your way. Stay strong!

[minniepauz]

that avatar is absolutely hilarious!!