Feelings of Dread and Doom

For those of you who are just beginning this wonderful process, here we can narrow down the symptoms and ask questions like "am I starting perimenopause?"

Feelings of Dread and Doom

Postby onehotmamma » Sat Dec 20, 2008 9:00 pm

Several times last year I had the worst feeling of dread and doom. It always happened at night, right before I fell asleep. I can't fully explain it but it was very, very unpleasant. :yuck: At the time, my son was in Iraq and I attributed it to that. But now I'm wondering if it had something to do with menopause. I've had it happen just once since he came back to the States.
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Re: Feelings of Dread and Doom

Postby minniepauz » Mon Dec 22, 2008 10:09 am

Very well could be, Sylvia...many women have experienced this at least once. Try not to worry because that can just make things worse. If you start feeling panicky all the time then get to your doctor. The secret to all this is for us to be able to MANAGE our health and not let it control our lives in a negative way.

And please tell your son THANK YOU for protecting us and serving his country!! And I always like to thank the parents too since they all sacrifice so much too!!
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Re: Feelings of Dread and Doom

Postby onehotmamma » Tue Dec 23, 2008 8:16 am

minniepauz wrote:And please tell your son THANK YOU for protecting us and serving his country!! And I always like to thank the parents too since they all sacrifice so much too!!


Thanks, Dee! :)
Sylvia

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Re: Feelings of Dread and Doom

Postby gorgeousfluffpot » Wed Dec 24, 2008 8:25 am

Sylvia, don't worry this is perfectly normal and, for me, is one of the most unpleasant affects of our current hormonal ups and downs. I knew to expect the physical symptoms of peri- but no-one told me to expect the mental side effects. I, too, found myself having feelings of dread, fear ... totally irrational and always late at night ... and feelings of almost-grief at events in the future. Sounds odd, let me explain ... I would look at my slumbering husband and think "oh my god, one day I'm going to wake up and he will be dead next to me " and the feelings that I might have at this future situation would come crowding in on me. It wasn't like a panic, but like the worst feeling of foreboding that you could possibly have. It always happened at night and was horrible, horrible, horrible.
I thought it was only me but found, on this forum, that it is a menopausal symptom and that you are not going bonkers. Unfortunately I cannot recommend any instant remedy ... this feeling comes and goes ... but it gave me enormous comfort to post my query on MinniePauz and receive such comfort and wise words from other ladies across the world.
For me, it lasted about a year, one and off, and I haven't had this for a few months yet but can't say it has gone for good. Remind yourself that it is hormonal, that it will pass, that you will feel better in the morning.
Meanwhile, take care, be at peace ... remember the wise words: this, too, shall pass.
Take cover! Hormones on the rampage again ...
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Re: Feelings of Dread and Doom

Postby onehotmamma » Thu Dec 25, 2008 9:58 pm

gorgeousfluffpot wrote:
Meanwhile, take care, be at peace ... remember the wise words: this, too, shall pass.


Thanks so much for taking the time to post this. I am feeling better already :D
Sylvia

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Re: Feelings of Dread and Doom

Postby saracat » Sat Oct 17, 2009 9:54 am

Thank you for posting this. The past few nights I've awakened at 1am and felt very, very scared. I really don't know what to do about this. I'm in a stressful time as I'm unemployed, but this was weird. It really helps to know that menopause is a contributing factor.

Sue
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Re: Feelings of Dread and Doom

Postby Dellalouise » Mon Dec 07, 2009 4:36 pm

I'm glad to know I'm not alone also! Sometimes I have to really pull myself together to just accomplish a simple, daily task. Recently, I was going to take my daughter to pick up pizza and make a quick trip to the dollar store. Simple, right? I was so nervous and felt that something was going to go really wrong - it's a horrible feeling! Of course everything went okay and I put up a good act, but I was so relieved to have just lived through it! So unlike me, but I figure it's a premenopausal thing and someday those hormones will settle down and I'll have some confidence back!
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Re: Feelings of Dread and Doom

Postby gracious granny » Tue Dec 08, 2009 11:26 pm

I could not agree more ladies!! I am usually a pretty happy go lucky person, having struggled with depression and OCD off and on my entire life but finally arrive at 45+ feeling pretty comfortable in my skin and then BAM!! Then Peri hit and still now that I am post meno, the feelings of doom and forboding :cry: , as Gorgeous stated, just the wierdest feelings at times.
And now that I have turned 50 it is 10 times worse. Feeling my mortality creeping up on me, having sad feelings, terrified feelings of things that may happen in the future (ie, husbands possible death, things we may not live to see, lying in a grave somewhere while the world and those we love go on with out me/us. MORBID thoughts! I hate them. And almost always they come at night. The "mental " issues have been my worst symptom by far.
" Lifes a dance you learn as you go"..............
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Re: Feelings of Dread and Doom

Postby minniepauz » Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:44 am

Mine come when I'm waking up....almost the first thoughts of the day. Disconcerting to say the least. One thing that has helped me (no matter when the thoughts come) is to have a favorite mantra to repeat over and over. "I'm healthy, wealthy and loved by all" (so what if it's not true....your thoughts create your reality!! :)) Something like this will literally block out the other thoughts and once you've done it for awhile, it starts to happen automatically.... bad thought comes, repeat mantra until you feel a sense of....whew, that's gone!

I also believe this is something that needs to gain more attention..... I'll try to find more research on this symptom.
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Re: Feelings of Dread and Doom

Postby gorgeousfluffpot » Wed Dec 09, 2009 6:45 pm

it's a stinker, isn't it. I think I got off fairly light with physical symptoms - well, light compared with what I read that others suffer on this forum - but the mental turbulation really unsettled me as I am fairly stable and good humoured. The feelings of doom, despair, and utter hopelessness ... that isn't me at all but I could work myself into a froth of unfounded fears in the night as I contemplated every possible unhappiness that could come my way. Mr. Gorgeous dying, what would happen to me. I'd be living by myself, then what, I would wake one morning having had a stroke or something and be unable to move and nobody would know, or care, or ring, and I would lie there for days on the bed, slowly starving to death ....
Gory, I know, but cripes, I would almost be shivering with fear and wondering if I should book myself into a nice retirement home with plenty of nurses to look after me so I wouldn't have to undergo this almost -certain (in my head) fate that was in store for me.
I try, when my mind is back to normal and I feel more balanced, to take these fears and find something that is the total opposite of it, to sort of balance it up.
Therefore, my death fantasy is that I shall probably get my angel wings while out on the town in my 90s, wearing far too much makeup, too short a skirt, having had a skinful of alcohol and being hoarse after singing karoake out of tune whilst attempting to chat up a 20 year old barman. Then as I totter down the road I shall trip and fall face first into the window of a cake shop, head first into the cakes. Thus, stuffed with cake, no-one will hear my whimpers as I slowly suffocate on chocolate ....

It doesn't make the doom and gloom go away, that hits you in the middle of the night and there's not a lot you can do then. But after a good night's sleep and some reflection, take time to swing these thoughts totally in the opposite direction, to some place utterly ridiculous, just to make yourself laugh and banish those earlier depressing thoughts.
Take cover! Hormones on the rampage again ...
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Re: Feelings of Dread and Doom

Postby Chaplady » Sat Dec 12, 2009 1:33 am

I started getting those same feels of doom about 3 years ago. But mine would hit me when I was alone in the car. That has always been my time to "think", just kind of let my mind wander and think about what I needed to do and so on. Then suddenly these horrible thoughts would pop into my head and literally terrify me. I don't even know how many times I had to pull off on the side of the road and calm myself down. The first time it happened it freaked me out so bad I called my husband and made him come and get me, I just did not feel safe to drive. They aren't happening nearly as often anymore and when they do I blast the radio and sing at the top of my voice. I'm sure I look like an idiot to the other people on the road, but it helps.

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Re: Feelings of Dread and Doom

Postby bookgirl » Wed Jan 06, 2010 10:42 pm

This is the symptom that caused me to google "symptoms of menopause." I'm 47, and have gotten off pretty easy so far. I've recently been having terrible panic attacks at night or early in the morning. It is that same feeling of foreboding described above: in these attacks I project ahead to my parents having died (they are getting older) and I am totally, utterly alone in the world (I am unmarried, no kids). It's the most frightening terror I can describe; I've even thought not being alive would be better. (Don't worry, not a threat!) The doc gave me an anxiety med to take, and I've started an anti-depressant, but no one mentioned the possibility of menopause. I'm just so grateful to know I'm not alone.
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Re: Feelings of Dread and Doom

Postby minniepauz » Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:09 pm

We ALL feel so much better to know that there are others who experience these kind of scary times.....thank you all for sharing your very personal thoughts and feelings. :)
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Re: Feelings of Dread and Doom

Postby gorgeousfluffpot » Sat Jan 16, 2010 12:04 pm

Chaplady, bookgirl ... what you experience is perfectly totally and absolutely normal. What's scary is that NO-ONE tells you to expect this as a symptom of menopause so, when it comes, it strikes you that you must be going out of your mind. All I knew or had read about menopause was erratic periods, putting on weight, maybe a couple of grumpy days and then period stops and on you go with the rest of your life, never having to make the monthly stop at the Kotex shelf in the supermarket!
WRONG!!!! So when the doom and gloom and midnight fears came, I had no idea that this was driven by hormones and other chemicals sloshing about in my unbalanced body. I thought I was going potty, I wondered if suicide might be an easier option now to avoid the awful things that I felt and almost knew were lurking ahead for me. By far the mental side effects of menopause are the most frightening. Putting on weight, saggy boobies, itchy skin ... oh heck that's a walk in the park compared to the turmoil in my head.
Forgetfulness. Short term amnesia. Where the heck did I put my car keys for the fiftieth time as I wander around looking for them, forgetting that they're actually in my hand. Looking for my reading glasses, while I am wearing them. That bothers me, but it's funny. But the night time terrors, the 3am anxiety, the doom and gloom ... that's a totally different kettle of fish.
So coming onto the MinniePauz site in a state of desperation, well that put a lot of my fears to rest. What you are experiencing is normal. Unpleasant, but normal. You have bad days, you have good days. It gets less, it will pass. Remember that. It's just a shame that you're not forewarned about it so that you can mentally prepare for it and not be scared when it comes.
I've had that doom and gloom now for about four years. But four years ago I'd get it about one night in three, at least once a week, often in a row. But now, it's very occasional. I had a bad night the other evening but that was the first for months.
So it does get less, it does pass. But while you're going through it, just get on this site and read the posts. Reassure yourself you're not alone. Or write a post expressing how you feel, so that others like me can post messages of comfort and support. Sisterhood and all that.
Next lifetime I am DEFINITELY coming back as a man ....don't they have life a whole lot easier than us?????-
Take cover! Hormones on the rampage again ...
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