Is my Mum perimenopausal and how do I bring up the subject?

For those of you who are just beginning this wonderful process, here we can narrow down the symptoms and ask questions like "am I starting perimenopause?"

Is my Mum perimenopausal and how do I bring up the subject?

Postby babybassistgem » Sun Feb 27, 2005 1:38 pm

I read your symptoms on your website after getting a bit worried about my mum. She's 47 this April, and she's become so irritable lately. I know this may sound very silly to some of you guys! She really does fly off the handle about the slightest thing, i.e. a jug put in the dishwasher upside down proper screaming and shouting and she never used to go so mad. She always seems to be hot when the rest of us are freezing our pants off and she is always tired. She's my Mum, I don't want to ask about her sex drive!!!!!! :shock:

I would like to talk to her about seeing a doctor/taking a test or something but I don't want to sound patronising towards her, as I know how insulting it can be when someone asks me "Are you being so grumpy because you're pre-menstrual?" :evil: I don't want to belittle her, she may just be really cranky at the moment, but I do think it's worth discussing. I'm fairly sure she is still having some periods because she still buys the relevant stuff.

Any suggestions? how can I be tactful? Should I not mention it at all?

Postby pamibe » Mon Feb 28, 2005 10:04 am

I would print out Dee's list of symptoms and paste them on the fridge...! :wink:

Seriously, she might suspect that something's wrong - it's hard to ignore when your body does a 180 on you...! Then again, she could be irritable about something else going on in her life, something you don't know about. Maybe ask her how long it's been since she had a check-up? I wish you luck if you decide to broach the subject! :D


Postby Zero » Mon Feb 28, 2005 10:55 am

"Minnie" answered a similar question on the Dear Minnie page, so I'll copy it here in the hope that it will help you help your Mum:

Dear Minnie,
Please help me, I am 21 and my mother is soon to be 40 and she is driving me nuts. She is up she is down she's left and shes right all in one minute. I looked at your 35 symptoms and she carries about 12 of them, and thats not including the personal ones that I dont know about. She has never mentioned any thoughts that she may be going into menopause and I would like to suggest it to her, what is he most tactful way I can do it without hurting her or making her feel railroaded? Please help me, I love my mother and want to help her. Heather

Dear Heather,
She'll probably thank you for being open about your concern and for finding! I'm sure she loves to laugh, right? I would suggest that you talk to her as you would a girlfriend and say something like, "Mom, do you think your hormones could be causing you problems? I found the funniest site that even helped ME understand what so many women are going through!" I can guarantee you, Heather, she will be so relieved to know that she's not going nuts! You just need some way to break the ice. Has she ever complained about feeling hot when everyone else says it's not hot? You could also print off one or two of the cartoons for her. Most women are so relieved to find that we're all trying to get through this and will help each other. Does she use the computer? If so, show her the minniepauz message board. She'll definitely find herself in some of the posts there.

Please let me know if you manage to start a conversation with her about this. You're a great daughter to want to help!
Best wishes,

Does she use the computer? You might want to have her look at these pages too:

Postby babybassistgem » Wed Mar 02, 2005 1:15 pm

thanks for replying guys, sorry i didnt see that other post, thanks for copying it.

I think you're right, she's pretty stressed about her own mum at the moment, causing her lots of grief. I did manage to bring it up and I don't think she is menopausal/perimenopausal after all.

Thanks a lot guys

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