Grandma's Menopause

[iluvtolaff]

Here’s a thought. What if our meno-probs were lifestyle related? I work in a retirement/assisted living place and there are 70 residents there--age-70 to 98. I have talked to them about meno probs and only one--ONE!-- had hot flashes as her only symptom. The others ‘breezed right through it’--as they say. So I’m wondering if our lifestyle has influenced the way we go through menopause. Their lifestyle was so different from ours, that’s the only reason I can think of as to why they had it so easy.

[txgirl98]

Maybe it was because so many of them never had houses with air conditioning! LOL How would they have known if they were having a hot flash! I asked my great grandma once how people managed before deodorant, tooth paste, etc. She said "Honey, everyone smelled equally bad." And if you think about what kind of feminine hygiene products they used, they were probably so relieved not having to deal with their periods anymore anything was preferrable.

I do think our hectic lifestyles probably add to our anxiety and stress levels, making our sypmtoms worse. We can't just go out on the veranda and fan ourselves and sip some lemonade when the hot flashes hit during the day.

I don't think the "Good Old Days" were probably that good!

[minniepauz]

Great discussion, Ladies! I agree that our lifestyle has affected the way we experience menopause. For one thing, I think we've had it pretty easy growing up and maybe we're kind of wimpy? Please don't take offense...I just wonder if our generation just expects too much as far as a solution?

Maybe even hearing about women that don't have much trouble with it makes us more distressed that we have to suffer. I went through the worst of it without really knowing it. I don't remember a perimenopause phase (with irregular periods, etc) and then when my periods just stopped, it was 2 or 3 months before I realized it (I wasn't having sex so there was just no reason to notice). When the hot flashes started with a vengence, I talked to ONE person and she was several years ahead of me and trying to find some kind of balance with HER hormones, so I just never mentioned it to anyone. That was about 16 years ago and I wish I knew then what I know now!

I've never taken hormone replacement (cause I didn't even know it was available) and now I'm 16 years post menopausal, so I guess that's why I feel so passionate about helping women become aware of what their options are.

[DayDreamer]

There may also be another reason. When we were growing up, our diets were vastly different to our own parents/grandparents. Our generation has been exposed to colourings, additives and chemicals in the environment in our formative years that the older generation were not exposed to.
Hydrogenation of vegetable oils to stop products from going rancid and hence prolonging the shelf life of foods containing it for example, has been cited in studies of being the culprit that destroys GLA (Gamma Linoleic Acid). This substance is essential in females to make our hormones needed for a healthy menstrual cycle and therefore a symptom free menopause one would suppose.
Who knows what other processes and chemicals we are ingesting in differing combinations could be affecting our hormone balance?
Couple this with juggling careers, families,chores and high expectations of what a "perfect woman" should be in the media and society; no wonder we are perhaps having a harder transition than our elder sisters for the most part

All we can do is what we are doing right now. Help each other, read up as much as we can and try and laugh at the sometimes silly things we do safe in the knowledge that we're not alone.

[colopam]

We're also talking about a generation where women wouldn't announce that they were in "a family way", where hysterectomies were the norm NOT and option, and where Lucy and Desi, Rob and Lauria etc had twin beds and no mention of sexual contact.
Our lifestyles and diet probably do contribute BUT maybe because we're not willing to take it on the chin and suffer and we're at a time period where there are options and there are forums to air our concerns and opinions it just seems to be more prevelant. My mother would never think she had any problems but my brothers and I surely remember the dragon times.
But I for one am glad 1) to be a woman 2) to be a woman in this time period and 3) to have this board and other wonderful women to share this wonderful (yes even with all the hassles) time in my life.

So big wonderful hugs to all of you!!!
Pam

[minniepauz]

You girls are GOOD!!! I like the way you think!

[CathyW]

I have to agree with Pam. We are talking about a generation of women who did not discuss these things with anyone. All they knew about meno was that you got hot flashes and their periods stopped. So does that mean they didn;t have other symptoms? I think they just didn't realize the other problems were because of meno. I'm sure many were on meds for their "nerves", had gastro issues,insomnia and other things but didn't think there was a connection. When you think about what our Dr's now know (which isn't much in most cases) what were they being told back then?

[txgirl98]

Another thing they didn't have to cope with (the majority of them) was getting up and going out into the working world everyday. If they were sweaty or moody or cranky they didn't have to put on a happy face and "play nice with others" the way we do. I believe that is why we are so affected by menopause symptoms that we might be able to deal with better if we were stay at home women. Nothing like the audience you have in a board meeting to make a hot flash even hotter!!

[minniepauz]

I can verify that last post! I spent the first half of my worst menopausal years having to work with others. I'm sure that's why I kept changing jobs! The last 10 years have been working at home where I could be naked if I had to!! Plus I could take naps when I needed to and turn off the phone and email when I didn't want to talk to anyone.

[colopam]

There are days that I should be wearing a T-shirt that states one of the following:
1) I'm premenstrual AND perimenopausal AND I'm armed!
2) Runs with scissors
3) Does NOT play well with others.

and those are the nice ones!!! LOL!!!
HUgs Pam
p.s. I personally feel that #1 is just WRONG and totally UNFAIR (inner child stomping, pouting and glaring!!!) ooooo there's chocolate in the house!!!!!!!:)))

[minniepauz]

Here's the main point we need to get across to everyone, whether it's a tshirt or a pillow or a hat or........
http://www.cafepress.com/minniepauzshop/199204

[colopam]

Isn't THAT the truth!!!!!
HUgs Pam

[Chuckles]

I sincerely believe that women in past generations had it just as bad as we do!! I have traced my family tree and my great, great grandmother on my dad's side died when she was 43 years old. I found out she was put in an insane asylum 11 months prior to her death. I also got my hands on a copy of her hospital records. She committed suicide by jumping from a 4th floor window of that mental hospital. This was in 1886!! Her records stated that she had delusions of burning up. Gee...now don't that sound like hot flashes!! I found another relative, a cousin who was committed to a mental institution, but was released a couple years later and lived to be in her 80's. And I also found another cousin that committed suicide at the age of 51. All of them were on my dad's side of the family. Nobody could possibly convince me that this was NOT menopause related!! Even my mom and her mom had a hard time with "the change". Perimenopause wasn't even a word then, I don't think. I have 3 sisters that are having an awful time with it. Maybe genetics does play a role in it...I don't know. But I do know it has been around for a long time. And yes, women didn't talk about it or they attributed their symptoms to something else.

[psexypsychic]

If I mention to my mother some of the issues I'm having she says, "Oh, I never had that" and tells me I just need to "cope" better with things.

I tell her that every menopause issue is different for every person. My hot flashes are nowhere near the intensity as hers were, for instance.

But, I have health issues she didn't have at the onset of her symptoms. (I also believe hers was surgical- mine's not). I've had hypothyroidism diagnosed since I was 18- she did not. I have stress issues in relation to my three kids and disabled spouse- she did/does not. I've also got high blood pressure- she does now, but didn't in her 30s.

My family wasn't one to "talk about those things" till they happened. I think my mom was a bit overwhelmed with my girly issues- I started getting my period when I was 9 years old.

I'm so glad I found this place- its a relief to know I'm not making this stuff up and that I'm not exaggerating my problems like she thinks I am.

[colopam]

PS
Yes, my mom claims sto never having symptoms but my brothers (15, 13 and 2 yrs older than myself) remember alot of the raging etc. and know better (hers was surgical with no HRT). I too am relieved and happy to have this refuge (so's my spouse). Hugs Pam