From MinniePauz readers.......
| MY MENOPAUSE
And I’m afraid ~ yours too I know that I am different now
I feel so hot and sweaty now
The loved ones who are around me
I’m on a roller coaster
It happens in an instant
Don’t ever be complacent
One day it will descend on you
Life is not a mystery
So how sorry can I be?
This is my existence
It’s strange to feel this anger
And everything’s so black and white
It’s so damned hot throughout the night
My memory has abandoned me
So if you should come across me
So there you go, this is my lot
Shirl x x x x Dedicated to me – writing this brought me back from a very dark place |
I’m so menopausal…
but at least I have company. This happened about a decade ago.
I was one of those early baby bloomers who broke into the men’s club of
business. I was in the height of peri-menopause and negotiating a
major 4-way contract for an all-male client group. For the first
time in my experience, the senior negotiator for each group was a woman
– a middle-aged, menopausal woman. (The business world can find a
use for anything… even menopause) We had just reached a critical
understanding in the contract terms, when we had to take yet another bathroom
break (remember that part?). So here we are – four women with
hot flashes, no capacity, slightly snarly humor – in a very plush restroom
in a big-city law firm. So, we’re women in a restroom… of course
we talk, compare HRT, etc. then finish the contract details laughing
wickedly about how we can finally say that we “cut a deal in the WOMEN’s
ROOM.” When suddenly we all panic, whip out pens and anything
we can find to take notes on, and start writing down what we have agreed
to… laughing over the reality that none of us would have remembered WHAT
we agreed to once we walked out of the room … after all we were writing
ourselves notes at home when we walked from the living room to the kitchen
to remember that we had just gotten up to get tea. PS.
The contract worked great for the next 10 years!.....Teri F.
I'm so menopausal I tell my family that if they can't live with the heat being set at 65, they can either put on more clothes or I can run around naked. The thermostat is still set at 65 (and sometimes lower). Go figure! Hey, when you have an internal furnace, you save on your heating bill! I'm considering just standing outside on our front walk and melting the snow myself. Should only take a few minutes. I'm only 47 but I had a hysterectomy a
few years ago and it was INSTANT menopause! I didn't even get the
gradual warnings. One day I'm normal and then I have the surgery
and I'm suddenly "Psycho Momma" .....Donna
I'm so menopausal that my nightsweats have become uncontrollable gym sweats. While doing an hour long cardio session on the elliptical machine at my local gym the sweat began dripping only forty seconds into my planned hour. I pushed on thinking, " I sure must look like I'm getting a fantastic cardio workout ". Several minutes later my pink and white workout bra was soaked through and the drips began accumulating between my breasts. Soon my matching pink tank top was soaked and I was feeling dribbles between my thighs. Yes, I've had some issues with incontinence, but that was not the problem this time. The sweat had nowhere to go! My socks were wet and the orthotics in my shoes began squeaking. Since the elliptical machine is fairly quiet and the TVs were off at the time, I began to attract some attention. A young woman, dressed as though she was a model for a men's muscle magazine came by and asked if I was nearly finished. I don't thing she believed me when I replied, " I've only been on the machine for fifteen minutes! " Several minutes later the woman at the front desk appeared to remind me that since six cases of MRSA (Methacillin Resistant Staphlococcus Aureus- the "super-bug") had occured in our area, resulting in one death, I needed to get off the machine immediately and wipe it down. Embarrassed, and a bit angry, I stepped off to retrieve the towel and squirt bottle of disinfectant sitting on the window shelf for just this purpose. She had something else in mind when she handed me a bucket of sudsy water, a brush, a pair of rubber gloves, and a new roll of paper towel. When I had finished cleaning she mounted
a sign saying " do not use this piece of equipment " not only on the machine
I had been using but the machines on either side as well. At her
instuction I double bagged the gloves, brush, and paper towel and took
it to the dumpster outside. When I tried to explain, in private,
why I had been sweating so profusely she told me I needed a note from my
doctor to verify I was having night sweats during the day. Now when I enter
the cardio room I carry my container of "Lysol Anti-Bacteria Wipes" and
a small plastic bag... and do most of my workouts when I know the gym will
be deserted. And I wish this woman nothing but the best- night, day,
AND workout sweats in her menopausal future. Joan O.
I'm so menopausal I'm the newest tropical island...in the middle of our state. Cindy I'm so menopausal that after I got out of the shower as I was sprinkling myself with talcum powder a cloud began to form. Choking I looked at the container in my hand and realized I had picked up the wrong one...I had just doused myself with Comet. I jumped back into the shower and scoured (pun intended) off. Mary I'm so meno.....I can't find what I'm looking for even when it's there right under my nose!! Sooo frustrating grrrrr! I'm so meno..........I tipped the veg into the colander ON THE way to the sink.......soggy slippers not nice ugh! I'm so meno............I cant
remember any more but I know there is loads ha!
I'm so menopausal that I called my brother on his birthday (Saturday) to wish him a Happy 60! During our conversation I asked had he received my card in the mail and he responded that he hadn't gotten it yet. Of course my response was, "Oh well, you know the postal system in (state) is as backwards and everything else down here...blah, blah, blah. It'll get there eventually". Well, now it's Sunday morning and I'm getting ready for church and as usual I can't find my 'other' earing and wouldn't you know it? There's the birthday card that I swore I mailed the previous Monday sitting on my dresser next to my jewellry box all this time. ! Oops! Yet, one more Menopause
Moment! Deborah
I worked the 3 Day Breast Cancer Walk here in Atlanta and took all my credit cards out of my wallet so I wouldn't lose them. The only problem was, when I got home 3 days later, I had no idea where I hid them. It took me approximately 6 hours on & off to find them. From now on I have to write myself a note & take it with me. What a waste of time menopausal moments are, and it wasn't the first time. I'm so menopausal... that in the midst of a Snickers bar fix,I had the Grandmother of all hot flashes(power surges) and melted at least an ounce and a half of that precious chocolate down my hand and arm.I thought my husband would die laughing....until I threatened to choke him to death with the remaining peanuts!!! Betty
I'm so menopausal that even though the air conditioning is broke - in the high ON position - I'm just happy with the temperature. Corrine How menopausal are you?? Share it with
us!
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