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Do YOU have "Minnie Moments"? Here's some my readers have shared. Funny entries from Minnie's Guestbook and Emails. These are real, everyday happenings in the life of a menopausal woman! Please
Note! "Minnie Moments"
is a registered trademark of Dee Adams and Minnie Pauz Enterprises.
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  Ok,
just so no one thinks that post-menopause brings TOTAL relief from all
the symptoms, let me present this as evidence. I am usually the "go to"
person for how to cook PERFECT hard boiled eggs (because awhile back I
heard Martha Stewart give some tips), so this is even MORE of a disaster.
No one knows that I always have to remind myself that I have eggs cooking
AND stay close to the kitchen because as soon as the eggs are at a full
rolling boil, you're supposed to turn off the heat and put a cover on the
pot.
Well, I DID remind myself and I sat down
close by to wait the 3-4 min. it would take to start boiling, but then
I went to my home office to check my email and got completely absorbed
in something on the web until I heard these "popping" noises. I was puzzled,
but kept on with what I was doing on the computer until I decided to go
investigate where the noises were coming from. I was so looking forward
to some deviled eggs, but now they're just "devil" eggs! You can't really
tell from the picture, but one of the eggs was splattered all over my kitchen!
Of course the pot is ruined too. I'm glad my grandkids weren't here to
see this! LOL
"Just read the stories from readers. Loved them. I guess I am not going nuts after all. I have had so many Minnie Pauz moments its not funny. I really thought I was going crazy. I hate having such a bad memory. It was so good to read what other women are going through and how laughing at it helps. Does this ever get better, or are we gonna be regarded as "looney" the rest of our lives? Oh well, now I know this is just what all we women must go through I will try to laugh too. Sometimes thats all you can do. Anyways thanks for being there for this often times forgotten segment of our population. I will be returning to this site again and again. B." "I just finished reading the stories women have sent you. Boy, can I identify. Some made me laugh so hard I cried! And believe me, I really needed that "HRT." Thanks so much for the gift of laughter! Best wishes from a 3:30 am "flasher,"........Starr Belsky Hi,
well I do have my menopause moments, When the price of gas was high I went
to fill up my car. I was ticked off because the price of gas had
gone up again overnight. Anyway I grabbed the nozzle and I watch my tank
indicator it barely moved as the fuel went in. I went in and paid
for the gas and left. It hit me a while later that I had been
watching the temperature gauge instead of the gas gauge. Renee
 This
Christmas, my husband got me your book. "Laugh Your Way Through Menopause"
and I laughed through the entire thing. Now I have to tell you a
funny story that I saw a while back. Maybe you'll use it in your
next book.
I pulled into the gas station one day and there was a line. A woman pulled up to the pump and got out of her car. She walked around the vehicle and then realized her tank was on the opposite side from the pump. Shaking her head all the way around the car, she got back in. I know, this is not so funny, but just wait! She pulled around the pump. Again, she proceeded to get out of the car and walk around the vehicle. She then realized that her tank was again on the wrong side of the car. Shaking her head all the way around the car, she got back in. She repeated the above again (yes, this is the third time) and again, was on the wrong side of the pump. Shaking her head.... The fourth time, she got it right. Do you think this was a menopause moment? (Definitely!! Dee) Now, in my household, there are three cars.
Mine is the only one that has the tank on the passenger side, so, when
my husband borrows my car or I'm driving mine and pull up to the pumps,
he is total confused, (he will say to me why are you going on this side?)
but, I don't think when I'm not in the car, he goes to the above extremes.
He is a guy after all and has no problem with menopause. Well, not
directly any way!
This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota,Florida:
An elderly Florida lady (over 55) did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!" The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition; for the same reason, she did not understand why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat! She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why...A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale teenagers were reporting a car-jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. If you're going
to have a Senior ("Minnie") Moment, make it memorable!
I asked a coworker that was busy if he wanted me to bring him back something for lunch. When I got back, he asked me where I had put his lunch-I had completely forgotten that I was supposed to get something for him.......
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I call it Menopause Fog. My husband enjoys hot sausage but I can only eat
the mild. So I decided to distinguish the hot from the mild by putting
toothpicks into the hot. Keep in mind that I only eat one piece of mild
while my husband eats several. Putting one toothpick into the mild would
have made more sense but not only did I put the picks in the hot, I also
put the pick into the mild too. Duh!!!!!!!!!
Just yesterday I had to set all of our digital clocks due to a power outage,
and I managed to set MY bedside clock one hour ahead of the rest. Sure
was a surprise when I woke up to the alarm at what was actually 5:00 this
morning insteaed of 6:00... Hubby got a good chuckle out of that one. --Linda--
I have to share a "minnie moment" with you. My daughter and I were
shopping one day at a well known department store in Houston. Because
I have dry mouth all the time to go with the hot flashes I will usually
chew gum while out. Anyway the gum had reached its potential so I spit
it out in a tissue from my purse and put the tissue back inside my purse.
Later I went to the restroom. In my stall there was no toilet
paper, so I used a tissue from my purse. Well, I must say it was
quite a mess but I was minty fresh. - Patti -
I was changing clothes in front of my 3 year old granddaughter, trying
to be as discrete about it as possible, especially since her new interest
is in the human body. Well she was pointing to my breast and asked,"What's
that?" I replied, "Honey, that's my breasts." "well" she says, "They
sure are long." That's a new one on me.......Hanging on in Houston
I walked into my co-worker/girlfriend's office to discuss something work
related. As I began to speak, she got this look of shock and terror
on her face. When I asked what was wrong, she said, "I have to go
home right away". I asked her what happened as she looked embarrassed.
She said because the weather was so cold that morning, she put on a "pant
slip" to be worn under her slacks. However, as I was talking to her,
she realized that she forgot to put on the slacks and she had come to work
wearing only the "pant slip". Luckily it was black and not sheer.
We both began laughing uncontrollably due to her "Minnie Pauz" moment.
She slinked out of the office hoping no one would notice her. --Linda--
I read your site with delight! I work in a bank so I have to wait for someone
else to come so I can enter the bank. I usually listen to a christian program
while I'm waiting and then hop out when they come and enter the bank. Imagine
my surprise when I went out four hours later and the radio was still blasting.
I left the car on with my keys in it and the radio was playing away! God
help my brain.----Mary
"One
day I was scrambling in my purse looking for my cell phone - while I was
talking on my cell phone. I frantically pulled out my wadded ball of Kleenex,
an old lipstick, my wallet, my sunglasses case and my glasses case before
I said to the other person, "Hold on, I can't find my cell phone." Marty
Meitus, columnist for the Rocky
Mountain News
Last
year I went to the grocery to pick up a roast for dinner. That was all
I needed, one piece of meat. When I got home, I had my head, my purse,
but no roast. I had paid for it and left it on the check-out counter. I
like the Jimmy Buffett line--"If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane."
Judy Paley, M.D. www.femailhealthnews.com
A couple of years ago, I spent two weeks with my mother while I was in
the process of moving back to Illinois from Houston. It was the middle
of winter in Chicago and my mother was starting to have pretty regular
hot flashes. I was scrambling to drum up some business in Chicago,
so I was spending a great deal of time on her computer between looking
at apartments. Toward the end of my stay, her hot flashes became
so regular and so severe that she would open every door and window in the
house. It got so cold in the house that the computer monitor actually
began to fog up on me, making it impossible to get anything done.
Not to mention it's pretty difficult to type with mittens on. It's
been a couple of years now and my mother is back to normal (well, for her
anyway). But my stepfather and I always get a good laugh about it
when she complains about the temperature.
After a decade together my husband didn't have a nick name for me, now
he calls me "Flash". It's kind of fun to see the look on people's faces
when I turn BRIGHT RED from head to toe while doing nothing to cause it!!!!!!!!
After reporting to police that my car had been stolen, I had gone to Rent-a-Car,
so I could drive to work that coming Monday morning. On my
way back from the place...what did I spot, but my forlorn little car, sitting
in front of the beauty parlor, where I had left it (and walked home from
instead of driving it home....duh). Just imagine, my horror
at what I had done. Im still shocked that I did it. The
worst part, was calling the police back again, and having to tell them,
what I had done...Not to mention...the insurance company!....God help me
I was going to be outside mowing the grass, and since my husband calls
me during the day, I wanted to leave a message on our answering machine
letting him know what I was doing. My cell phone was in my car in
the garage. I went to my car, leaving the back door of the house
open, and dialed my home phone number. Suddenly I heard the phone
ringing inside the house. I jumped out of the car, ran inside and
answered the phone!! I even got angry because SOMEONE hung up after
only one ring. I then went BACK out to my car to call me again!
When I began dialing my number, I realized what I had done. I just
sat in my car in the garage and laughed and laughed.
One
night I awoke to a very cold and wet face. The headboard of the waterbed
was right up against the window. When I got up, I saw a fine dusting
of snow on the headboard and more was being blown in by the fan that was
in the window and turned on. I turned the fan off, took it out of
the window and when I tried to shut the window I couldn't because it had
frozen in the open position. I had to get my hubby to close the window.
My sister-in-law was having night sweats and insomnia really bad. One night
her husband in a half awake state and of course no glasses on, he said
he was suddenly aware of a whooshing sound and could see red lights flashing
as he looked towards his wife's side of the bed. He tells it like this
"as I slowly woke up more, I realized Louise was fanning herself which
made a whooshing sound and the red lights popping on and off were the numerals
on the digital clock that he could see intermittently in between the waves
of the fan.
A
few weeks ago, a motor officer pulled me over. He's explaining to
me that I went straight into an intersection instead of turning right in
the right-turn only lane. I'm listening to what he's saying, but
cannot figure out what the heck he's talking about. While he's writing
me the ticket ... I'm thinking that I'm loosing my freakin' mind.
When I signed the ticket, I asked the officer to take me to the intersection
and show me what I did wrong because I couldn't get it. As it turned
out, he's the one who made a mistake. I wasn't where he thought
I was. He took the ticket back!
My high school aged son was in a soccer tournament. Between games,
I took a whole vanload of soccer players to the restaurant to eat lunch.
Another mom drove her van load and followed us over there. When we
parked next to each other there was a lot of chaos as we got all the boys
out of the vans and secured their equipment in the car. We all headed
inside and enjoyed a nice leisurely lunch. As we walked out of the
restaurant, I was fumbling in my purse trying to find my car keys.
I couldn’t find them anywhere. Just then my son came running
back to me with the keys in his hand. He said, “MOM, you left the
keys in the ignition……….and the sliding door wide open…………………AND the car
was still running!!!!!!!!
Every year at christmas is hectic at my house. This last christmas however
was a real mess. I had several over for christmas.{ no big deal.} Chirstmas
eve is my biggest night to wrap presents and it seemed like I was
missing some presents but I thought no I'm just imagineing it, We started
opening presents and the whole time I'm passing out gifts it seems like
some are missing.Well after all is done my step daughter looks at me and
ask if I had missed a Charm for my step granddaughter. It finally dawns
on me that I had in fact forgot a charm for her and my daughter. Well later
on that day after dinner my two younger boys were playing and making alot
of noise. When all of a sudden I remembered two presents that make
alot of noise that were forgot for them.I hurried and wrapped them. I had
to cover up by saying santa was playing hide and seek on them. Well
two days later my husband found two more presents for my daughter and older
sons in the tool box of our truck.He just laughed while I cried. I am now
know as the mom with brain farts.
My sister was making a presentation to a room filled with her co-workers,
she was standing on a low stage at a podium, showing slides and reading
off and on from the notes in front of her. All of a sudden, she could feel
this humongous bead of sweat starting to roll forward toward her forehead
under her hair. She didn't know what to do, because it felt like a one-gallon
bead of sweat rolling down there. So, she did what any normal menopausal
woman would do. She froze, she couldn't talk, couldn't move. For about
thirty long seconds, she didn't say a word and could see everybody out
there leaning over to one another in their chairs asking each other "what's
wrong with her"? She said she absolutely could not think of ANYTHING EXCEPT
THAT BEAD OF SWEAT, and she just knew what was going to happen - it was
going to roll right down her forehead and all the way down her nose and
plop right on the papers in front of her. When she told me this, I just
cracked up and laughed until I about fell off my chair.
I was helping my mother move a cabinet across the room in her lounge to
another location behind the couch. All went smoothly, we moved it
with no difficulty. When we tried to position it behind the couch
by moving it along, it suddenly got extremely heavy and just wouldn't budge
with any amount of effort. We then realised that we were both pushing
instead of one pushing while the other pulled. Well, we laughed so
hard......
I'm with a friend, whom I've just met. We are driving back to her
place. As I'm heading down the road she says "you need to turn here"
I say why? Because I live here!! Well, I thought I was taking her
back to my place. Only problem is the place I was heading I haven't
lived in for two years!! Oh, well all turned out well, and I eventually
got back to where I really live.
I was attending a public meeting in a church hall. Per my usual,
I could not leave the facility without visiting the rest room. Having
collected several fliers, I placed them under the extra toilet paper roll
on top of the toilet while I accomplished my task.
Upon completion, I took my papers and exited the rest room, stopping to say good-bye to a table full of friends. When I reached my car, I met another friend and she asked me for something I had stored in my purse. I was initially flustered because both hands were full and I couldn't remember what I was holding. When I looked down, one hand held my papers, the other was holding the extra roll of toilet paper from atop the toilet tank!!! We both laughed and laughed. The toilet paper roll was returned to the church!
I bought a bottle of herbal memory tablets to assist my not-as-good-as-it-used-to-be
memory - that was a couple of years ago. I keep forgetting to take
them.
On Monday I went to my exercise club with two different aerobic shoes on.
On Tuesday I forgot it was Halloween. I had to go to the store and
buy candies at the last minute. On Wednesday I forgot my dentist
appointment. On Thursday I forgot to go to my women's group.
On Friday I forgot which car I was driving. On Saturday in class, I forgot
a word when my teacher called on me. On Sunday I forgot to do the
laundry. Why can I never forget to eat.
After a week of holiday company, I woke up at 6:30 feeling rested and ready
to start the new week with gusto! I fixed my first cup of coffee for the
morning and turned on the computer and the tv, but instead of the usual
morning shows, there was a football game on one station and a movie on
another.....very strange for a Monday morning! Then I noticed the date
on my computer..... it said "Sunday, Nov. 25". I immediately changed it
to "Mon. Nov.26" and made a mental note to ask someone what could cause
the date to not change on my computer. Then "60 Minutes" came on TV and
it finally hit me that the time was 6:30 PM
Sunday evening instead of 6:30 AM Monday morning, and I
had just awoken from an afternoon nap and lost all sense of time! (oh yes,
I set the computer clock back to the proper day) heheheh.......this
from your humble host, Dee :)
I was sweeping up around the litterbox located in the laundry room! The
full dustpan is USUALLY emptied back into the litterbox which is then scooped
clean and replenished as needed. On this particular occasion, the dustpan
was quite efficiently emptied into the washing machine. My first response
was SHOCK, manifested in a kind of whimper. Then I proceeded to pull out
the mini-vac in order to complete the laundry detail. I continue to be
amazed at how easily two distinctly different tasks can become so "enmeshed".
In fact, that term could well apply to this sort of dysfunction.
I remember my first hot flash at work. Picture this: middle
of winter in Minnesota, snow 4 feet deep. I worked in a small office
with 2 other women a few years younger than I. I kept getting up
to go to the "bathroom" but they evidently heard the outside door closing.
On one such trip, I happened to look up and saw them watching me
out of the window as I was stuffing snow down the front of my blouse!
Not too long ago, I reached into the pantry to obtain the flour canister
to fry a chicken and discovered a 1/2 gallon container of curdled milk
that upon studying about it for the rest of that day, had to have been
in the pantry for almost a week!
I started to apply hand lotion and took off my wedding ring and put it
in my mouth. Immediately I reached for the lotion bottle, and was DISMAYED
to see my wedding ring missing from my finger! I looked all over the chest
of drawers, in the floor, went into the bathroom and looked on the counter,
and then into the mirror---and THERE it was, right in my mouth where I
had put it SECONDS before!
Just recently while going to a gas station to purchase gas for the car
that I have had for 5 years, I could not remember which side the gas tank
was on. I had to get out of the car to have a look.
I'm a JHS English teacher and I was running a few minutes late to class.
I rushed into the teacher's room, got my teaching materials all ready :
books, xeroxed tests, chalk and so on, raced out of the room and
into the classroom... settled the kids down and got them ready for the
BIG test, only to discover that all the junk that I put aside were in my
hands and the "teaching stuff" that I needed was all left in the teachers'
lounge.
Hang in there .. I can't see anything wrong with calling a washer a "plastic
O-ring thingy" anyway! That should be their REAL name :)
My husband and I had an evening of intense passion and when I woke up the
next day, I couldn't find my estrogen patch anywhere. I changed it as prescribed,
twice a week, like clockwork and had never misplaced or lost it. I went
to the bathroom, to grab another patch (my kids say there are times I should
wear two or three!) and climbed back in bed. Imagine my horror when my
husband got up to shower and my patch was stuck on his back!! Needless
to say, he had a shower partner that day and seemed to enjoy having his
back lathered up! It still cracks me up to think that he might have
walked around all day with female hormones coursing through his veins!!
I am divorced now but remember this story as one of the more fond memories
of my marriage!!
I'll never forget the time she told me of going outside in 0 degree weather
and having steam coming off of her during one of her severe "flushes".
This was in the middle of the night too.
As a middle aged clergywomen, "hot flash in the pulpit" has a new meaning.
Yea for the fan under the pulpit.
The other day I was about to put the bottle of 409 in the refrigerator.
Walking through the house removing clothes with sweat pouring - our kind
of strip act.
The idea of me having no more eggs was interesting, I mean, where did they
go. Does that mean I only started off with 396? Had I known that, I would
not have broke so many.
I was standing out in the cold rain the other day and the thought went
through my head...where's a hot flash when you really need one?
Living in the mountains.......when they say menopause means you're going
over the hill now- ole gal! Which one do they mean?
I stopped at a traffic light, the car behind blew the horn, I had stopped
for a green lite. Ahhh, sweet Minnie Pause!
I've actually seen myself accidentally in a store mirror-wall that
I hadn't known about......recognized the JACKET--or sweater,
whatever....and THEN realized that the face/hair/body looked vaguely familiar,
too.....oh, well!
Having a cold blooded significant other with poor circulation ----he really
relies on those hot flashes to warm him up at night. Of course his
"cold hands" on my back are a welcoming touch as well.
With hot flashes here in the west coast rain forest you can get wet both
on the inside and outside of your rain gear!!!
During my job interview today, I "surged" and fogged my glasses . . . guess
its time to try one of those products that prevents mirrors from fogging
in a steamy bathroom!
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