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Romantic – inclined to dream of adventure, heroism or love ; imaginative but impractical ; of love or a love affair

Love – intense affection or warm feeling for another 
American Heritage Dictionary 

      Too often, in the haste of day to day modern living, we may not even notice the roses, let alone take the time to inhale the sensual aromas. When we do slow down to indulge our senses, we can appreciate what we have missed and ask ourselves why we don’t partake more often. So too, with mid life and the nurturing of mature love. Romance provides the opportunity to  rekindle  the sensual spirit of a relationship. This is based upon commitment, affection and devotion.  Romance also recaptures the essence of what it is like to be in true love.

     In reference to the definitions above, it might be easier to relate to the term ‘romantic’ if we view our midlife journey as an adventure, see our partner as our hero (or heroine) and continue to pursue our dreams while nurturing our love for each other. At midlife, all the correct ingredients are in place. Sometimes they just need to be ‘stirred up’ to get maximum flavor. Therefore, the only oxymoron in midlife romance is the term oxymoron.  
 

Romance 101: The Chemistry of It All

“A courtship begins when a man whispers sweet nothings and ends when he says nothing sweet.” (Anonymous)

     On the surface, romance appears to be a frenzy of wild, intoxicating, fleeting, feel good passion that works its way into an emotional state called love. Dive beneath the surface and what we discover cascading through the rapids of the bloodstream and literally being pumped from the deep springs of the heart is the essence of real love, those molecules of emotions called hormones. Indeed, romance and love are physiological states with profound repercussions on our mood, mentality, creativity, energy, and even our health and longevity. These chemical molecules of emotions traverse the blood brain barrier and activate neurological synapses with electrifying results. At mid-life, our hormonal systems are primed and eager for just this sort of activation. 

Igniting Our MidLife Love Hormones

     If we think back to our first experience of “falling in love”, it is not hard to recall the unique blend of energy and exhilaration that resulted in a near euphoric state. Indeed, our heart may be racing, our palms sweaty and our senses in a state of peak sensitivity. When two people are attracted to each other, and by each other, a virtual frenzy of hormone and neurochemical activity occurs. Our “natural high” is fueled by the release of hormones, neurochemicals and endorphins, the body’s own opiate system. The more we bond with the object of our affection, the more opiates are released. Indeed, love can be addicting, but this is just the beginning. 

Being held in our lover’s arms, or even touched by the object of our affection, causes a gush of oxytocin – a potent “bonding” hormone secreted by the pituitary gland. Couples entering into the state of love tend to be “floating”, almost immune from the worries of the world. In reality, the immune system does indeed get an overall boost from a “shot” of love. 

     In the woman, oxytocin works in synergy with estrogen and is directly involved in the forceful uterine contractions necessary for labor and delivery. After the baby is born, oxytocin plays a critical role in milk let down in the breasts and reinforces the bonding between infant and mother. During nursing, it results in pleasurable and relaxing sensations for the mother as even more of this magical hormone is released. In response to the cry of her baby (or even the cry of another baby), oxytocin is automatically secreted from the pituitary causing the breasts to leak or even spurt milk. In essence, oxytocin becomes a “remote control” of mother / infant bonding to the highest degree. So too with touch. The more the mother touches or is touched by her baby, the greater the release of this marvelous hormone. 

  In a similar manner, oxytocin promotes bonding between a man and a woman through touch. Just as a woman’s breasts are sensitized by the release of this hormone in response to a baby’s cry or touch, so too is there a response to a partner’s touch. Hand holding, cuddling, snuggling, hugging or even being in the proximity of a lover can cause the release of oxytocin. By increasing desire and arousal there is also enhanced bonding between the partners. The sensitization can be so great that even the sound of a lover’s voice, or the scent of their particular “pheromone” or even a certain look can trigger oxytocin release. The more hormone, the greater the chance of touching; the more contact, the greater the release of hormone.  
 

Scientific studies have shown that touch deprivation can have significant consequences on human life. Babies who are raised without physical affection are more likely to have difficulties with social skills, personality disorders and less ability to express affection as adults. As we grow older our need for touch and physical intimacy does not wane. Couples who stop hugging, snuggling, stroking or even just holding each other have a higher chance of developing depression, sleep disturbances, reduced immunity, irritability, anxiety and the D word …divorce.

      In a survey of prominent divorce attorneys,”Lawyers on Love” by Andrew Taber (May 5, 2001), Men’s Health magazine listed the lack of nonsexual touch as one of the top ten reasons midlife couples divorce. “Married men tend to touch their wives only when they’re looking for sex. Lawyers say that’s a mistake. Men underestimate the power of nonsexual touch. Women who come to an attorney looking for a divorce often talk about how their husbands no longer hold their hands or offer unsolicited kisses and back rubs – all things that make women emotionally connected.” Indeed, men benefit from the healing effects of touch as well. Touch is an undeniably potent resource. When was the last time that you gave your significant other a good old fashioned hug? It just may be time to get the oxytocin pumping again. 
 

Next: Twenty Fun Ways to Activate Your Romance Hormones, and Keep Your Lover

Previous Articles 
Diary of a Crone by Lee Uttmark Wicks for Salon Magazine 
Excerpt from the book, "Burn Fat for Fuel", by Donna Michaels-Surface 
PMDD by Dr. Madeline Behrendt 
Losing My Social Skills Along With My Hormones: by Janice A. Farringer 
The HERSTORY of Bones by Dr. Madeline Behrendt 
The Pause that refreshes by Dottie LeMieux 
Humor Me, Please By Patricia Older 
Here's To Your Health by Caryl  Frawley 
Articles by Judith Paley, MD, Natural Progesterone 
Post from Cammie 
Read another good post from Joy 
Menopause Research Project Probes Effects of HRT by Elaine Sanford, writer for the Regional Medical Center at Memphis 
Surviving Menopause by Lynn Chandler 
Menopause Manners for Men by Oona 
Taking Hormones? These Herbs Are for You 
by Susun Weed 
Articles by Dr. Scott Wasserman 
HRT Report 
A typical day... by "Snookybryant"

Dr. Scott Wasserman runs a successful private practice in Scottsdale, Arizona where he specializes in what he calls “quality of life” medicine.  He works extensively with women of all ages.  Some of whom find themselves in the throes of hormonal upheaval to the point of desperation.  His approach is well rounded with a heavy emphasis in education, attitude, initiative, nutrition, and emotional well being.  His real expertise is in making sense of symptoms as they relate to the subtle and not so subtle expression of hormone imbalance.

Dr. Wasserman grew up in New York.  He attended medical school in Tel Aviv, Israel at the Sackler School of Medicine.  He completed his residency in Internal Medicine at Albert Einstein/Jacobi Hospital in Bronx, New York.  He is a Diplomat of the American Board of Internal Medicine.  He a member of the North American Menopause Society as well as the American College of Sports Medicine and the American Academy of Orthopedic and Musculoskeletal Medicine.  He is a sponsored triathlete who has completed multiple Ironman Triathlons. 

Sometimes considered more of a health coach. Dr. Wasserman is an educational and motivational speaker who talks frequently on topics relating to women’s health.  He sees himself on the frontier of a new kind of medicine.  One, which he hopes to educate other physicians about as well as patients. 
 

“There, there, dearie. It’s just menopause.  Everyone goes through it.  Why are you so upset?”  Meanwhile the sleepless nights continue, your energy seems to have suddenly disappeared, fatigue becomes overpowering and you feel like you are dragging through quicksand. Your memory seems less sharp, joints ache, muscles hurt, your eyes are dry, tempers flare and crying spells hit out of the blue.

“There, there, dearie!”

I think women are getting short changed about their hormones.  Apart from heart disease and osteoporosis, they affect your mind and sense of well being.  They affect interpersonal relationships, business relationships and general quality of life.  There’s a lot of unnecessary suffering going on because of this oversight.

I am a physician who specializes in working with women (and loves doing so). As such I am terribly saddened by the degree of confusion and disempowerment that has been marketed into women’s consciousness.  Are all diabetics prescribed the same dose or type of insulin?  So why should women accept a one size fits all approach.

Take Susan whose journey began about one and half years prior to coming to see me.  In that time she began to experience joint aches, migraines, palpitations, insomnia, anxiety and irregular periods (just to name a few).  By the time she showed up at my door she had been placed on Celebrex, Fioricet, Inderal, Ambien, Paxil and birth control pills.  Now she had a whole new set of complaints:  a 40-pound weight gain, depression, failing marriage and a profound sense of desperation.

“There, there, dearie!”

In our first meeting she made the comment: “I don’t know who I am anymore”.  I understood completely.  I didn’t see Susan as a “whacked out” middle aged woman on painkillers, tranquilizers and antidepressants (after all this couldn’t be hormonal –she was still having periods!).  I saw a woman whose not so subtle peri-menopausal hormone fluctuations led to symptoms which forced the medical community to cram her into the only treatment model they knew.  A symptom relief based approach, which had virtually destroyed this person.  An all too common recurring theme I’m afraid to say I see on a daily basis.

The story does have a happy ending though.  It didn’t take long to fine tune Susan’s hormones and her health as well as restore her sense of perspective.  Through education as well a little art and science Susan was made to feel powerful and in control again.  Not to mention medication free.  And I quote “ I feel like I have my life back again”.  Sadly, for many women who never get that chance, it was not that difficult for us to do either.

All women deserve balanced information, proper education, and compassionate assistance in sorting out their priorities and values for their health.  Distilling the very essence of life down to “diseases” and symptoms has truly wreaked havoc on our values.

The journey through the healthcare maze trying to find answers can be very destructive.  It’s all a matter of attitude and perspective.

“There, there, dearie!!” 
 

Happy Hormones, 
Scott Wasserman, M.D. 
 

Dr. Scott Wasserman runs a successful private practice in Scottsdale, Arizona where he specializes in what he calls “quality of life” medicine.  He works extensively with women of all ages.  Some of whom find themselves in the throes of hormonal upheaval to the point of desperation.  His approach is well rounded with a heavy emphasis in education, attitude, initiative, nutrition, and emotional well being.  His real expertise is in making sense of symptoms as they relate to the subtle and not so subtle expression of hormone imbalance.

Dr. Wasserman grew up in New York.  He attended medical school in Tel Aviv, Israel at the Sackler School of Medicine.  He completed his residency in Internal Medicine at Albert Einstein/Jacobi Hospital in Bronx, New York.  He is a Diplomat of the American Board of Internal Medicine.  He a member of the North American Menopause Society as well as the American College of Sports Medicine and the American Academy of Orthopedic and Musculoskeletal Medicine.  He is a sponsored triathlete who has completed multiple Ironman Triathlons. 

Sometimes considered more of a health coach. Dr. Wasserman is an educational and motivational speaker who talks frequently on topics relating to women’s health.  He sees himself on the frontier of a new kind of medicine.  One, which he hopes to educate other physicians about as well as patients. 
 

Consider This: 
In the 1920’s you were told DES was safe.  Then Thalidomide.  In the 50’s Valium was touted as “non-addicting”.  In the 60’s and 70’s claims regarding estrogen replacement be safe were thrown out when thousands of women began to develop uterine cancer.  Now claims’ of cardiovascular protection with HRT are. The dwindling the latest studies suggest that even the cancer screening icon, the mammogram, may not be what it was cracked up to be.

So, What do you believe?

Many women’s crisis of belief, when it comes to their health, is a marketing tool. Put in a position of fear and confusion makes anyone ripe for the sale. High Cholesterol?  Afraid of having a heart attack?  Here’s your Statin.  Osteoporosis?  Afraid of a hip fracture?  Here’s your Fosamax.  Or how about your soy?  You do want to be “natural” don’t you?  Frankly from this perspective it’s tough to win.

Some might say this opinion is a little harsh paranoid even.  Yet everyday in my practice I spend hours talking both women (and men) down from the mountain of confusion.  I almost liken it to reprogramming in a sense.  Only at this point can major change take place. 

Our priorities are screwed up.  We spend our money on things like Slim Fast before we look at cutting sugar out of our diet!  We take HRT to prevent osteoporosis before we lift a finger to exercise and build strong bones.  We can’t sleep, the hot flashes are debilitating.  Yes somewhere we got the idea that hormones cause cancer.  So we take sleeping pills instead.  Premarin comes from horses’ urine!!  Ughhhh!!!!!  Wait, they made Cenestin.  It’s chemically just as synthetic and unnatural but thank heavens it’s made from plants and not horses.  That has to be better!!  RIGHT?

You get the picture.

I know you’re on the edge of your seats….. 

So What Do you believe???????

Think:  Back to Basics.

Much of how good or how bad you feel is a function of how you take care of and nurture yourself.  Ultimately your health and longevity are dependent on your attitude and hard work.  Your sense of self and empowerment leave you with a resiliency to grow stronger.  Passive victimization is your enemy (and the drug companies best friend).

You are what you eat!

 -Don’t eat sugar or white flour.  For reasons that I will elaborate on in future articles.  No one thing will give you more health benefits.

Start slow but start!

 -Very often I recommend people to work with a qualified personal trainer.   A profound piece of the puzzle that everybody knows.  Yet so few really exercise.  Resistance and weight training are the key here.

Attitude is everything!

 -You know what your destructive habits and patterns are.  Address them.  If you can’t do it alone then get help.  You’ll thank yourself later.

While these few suggestions are often easier said than done they are huge.  Forget the supplements, herbs, hormones, drugs, and infomercial exercise equipment.  They are all someone else’s cash cow.

Physical and emotional well being are the fundamental building blocks of your health.  No one can make you healthier than yourself, NO ONE!!

Take control and you won’t worry about whether or not you should take HRT.  YOU WILL KNOW! 
 

Happy Hormones, 
Scott Wasserman, M.D.

Previous Article

More and more American women are using herbal remedies to help them with menopausal problems. Those who do take ERT (estrogen replacement) or HRT (hormone replacement) may be surprised to discover that herbal medicine has a lot to offer them as well.

Herbs for women on ERT/HRT include those that alleviate side-effects as well as those that counter problems caused by the hormones.

Herbal Helpers Counter Side-Effects

Water Retention is the symptom most often cited for dissatisfaction with hormone replacement. Herbal tinctures and tea, such as dandelion or cleavers, and ordinary foods can not only relieve the distress, they will go to the root of the problem and help prevent recurrences.

* Dandelion root tincture (Taraxacum officinale) strengthens the liver and helps it process out the excess hormones you are taking. When the liver works well, the kidneys work better, and tissues no longer bloat. A dose is 10-20 drops in several ounces of water or juice 2--3 three times a day. If you have any digestion problems, take your dandelion before meals; otherwise, anytime is fine. You can safely take dandelion daily for months or years if you need or want to.

* Cleavers herb tincture (Galium molluga) tells the lymphatic tissues to get moving. Relief from edema is usually rapid when 20-30 drops are taken in several ounces of water or juice. Repeat up to six times at hourly intervals if needed. Cleavers is especially helpful for easing swollen, sore breasts.

* Foods that relieve water retention include (in order of effectiveness): asparagus, nettles, corn (and corn silk tea), grapes, cucumbers, watermelon (and watermelon seed tea), parsley, celery, black tea, and green tea.  
 

Headaches are the second most common side-effect of hormone use. Unfortunately, they are common among menopausal women not taking hormones, too. Herbs that help relieve headache without a drug-like action -- such as dandelion, yellow dock, milk thistle, burdock, garden sage, skullcap, and St. John's/Joan's wort --  are generally considered safe to take with hormones.

* Chinese herbalists say headaches are caused by liver stress. My favorite liver-strengthening herbs are dandelion, yellow dock, milk thistle seed, and burdock. I use one at a time, a 15-25 drops of the tincture several times a day, for two weeks. If symptoms continue, I switch to a different herb.

* A strong tea of garden sage leaves (Salvia officinalis) offers immediate relief from headaches and helps prevent future ones. It also reduces night sweats. 
* Tinctures of skullcap (Scutellaria lateriflora) and St. Joan's/John's wort (Hypericum perforatum) ease pain and relieve muscle spasms. Use 5-20 drops of skullcap and a dropperful of St.J's at the very first sign, no the very first thought, of a headache. Repeat the doses every five minutes until pain free. Skullcap can be quite sedative, especially in large doses. 

Herbal Allies That Prevent Problems Caused by Taking Hormones

Breast Cancer risk is increased 20% in women who use ERT for five or more years. Use of HRT for five or more years increases breast cancer risk by 40%. Each five years of continued use increases the risk. In addition, women who take ERT are far more likely to get uterine or endometrial cancers. All women on hormones increase their risks of lung and ovarian cancer, too. Nourishing herbs such as red clover, and foods such as beans and yogurt, offer easy ways to stay cancer-free.

* Red clover blossoms (Trifolium pratense), when dried and brewed into a strong infusion (one ounce herb steeped in a quart of boiling water for at least four hours) prevent cancer by providing phytoestrogens that counter the cancer-promoting effects of oral hormones. Usual dose is 2-4 cups a day. The infusion tastes like black tea and can be flavored with mint if you like.

* Beans, especially lentils, but also yellow split peas, black turtle beans, baby limas, Anasazi beans, and red kidney beans are also rich sources of anti-cancer phytoestrogens. Since uncooked beans and unfermented soy contain anti-nutritional factors that may promote bone loss and dementia, soy "milk" and tofu are not recommended. Miso and tamari definitely help to prevent breast cancer but soy isoflavones may promote it.

* Yogurt helps build powerful immunity. Women who eat a quart of yogurt a week have 700% less cancer than women who eat no yogurt. 
  
 

* Oatstraw infusion (Avena sativa) cools and moistens your eyes from the inside out, builds strong bones too. Use one ounce of dried herb in a quart jar; fill to the top with boiling water and cap tightly. Let steep four or more hours. Dose is 2-4 cups a day. Refrigerate after straining.

* Cucumber slices ease dry eyes; so do chamomile tea bags.

* The ultimate ally for women with dry eyes is fresh chickweed (Stellaria media), applied as a poultice to the closed eyes. Leave on for five minutes, or until the plant material feels warm (it will heat up). Repeat as needed. 
 

Stroke and Heart Attack are actually increased by use of ERT/HRT, though modern medicine has long proclaimed the opposite. Every major double-blind study done to date has created a larger and larger gap between ERT/HRT's supposed ability to help cardiovascular health and its actual results. Protect you heart with nourishing and tonifying herbs and foods such as motherwort, hawthorn, and cherries.

* Motherwort (Leonurus cardiaca) tincture helps the heart. The Japanese claim it is their secret of longevity. A dose is 5-15 drops, twice a day. Motherwort also relieves hot flashes, calms tachycardiia, and eases anxiety. It's an all-in-one remedy for menopausal women.

* Hawthorn (Crataegus oxycantha) flowers, leaves, and fruits are all used to maintain heart health and control fluid build-up in hear tissues. A dose is 20-30 drops of tincture 2-4 times a day, or a cup of tea with meals. This widespread shrub is considered one of the finest heart tonics in the world.

* Cherries are even better than apples at keeping the doctor away. Dried cherries and cherry juice, even tincture of cherries. 
 

More than three-quarters of the women in America over the age of fifty have refused ERT/HRT. If you want to join them, taper off your dosage slowly, while continuing to use nourishing and tonifying herbs such as dandelion, motherwort, red clover, oatstraw, and seaweed. And pick up a copy of New Menopausal Years the Wise Woman Way, Alternative Approaches for Women 30-90. Meanwhile, these Wise Woman hints can help you stay healthy and counter the detrimental effects of hormone replacement. 
 

Find a link to Susun Weed's websites here under "Herbs" 
Used with  permission from the Author 
  
  
 

More Articles 
Diary of a Crone by Lee Uttmark Wicks for Salon Magazine 
Menopause Fiction by Terry Odell 
Excerpt from the book, "Burn Fat for Fuel", by Donna Michaels-Surface 
PMDD by Dr. Madeline Behrendt 
Losing My Social Skills Along With My Hormones: by Janice A. Farringer 
The HERSTORY of Bones by Dr. Madeline Behrendt 
The Pause that refreshes by Dottie LeMieux 
Humor Me, Please By Patricia Older 
Here's To Your Health by Caryl  Frawley 
Articles by Judith Paley, MD, Natural Progesterone 
Post from Cammie 
Read another good post from Joy 
Hormone Replacement Therapy Improves Success Of Dental Implants 
Osteoporosis article from the Women's Health Network 
Woman's Mind Sets Her Menopause 
Management Style from Medscape  
Menopause Research Project Probes Effects of HRT by Elaine Sanford, writer for the Regional Medical Center at Memphis 
Surviving Menopause by Lynn Chandler 
Menopause Manners for Men by Oona 
Articles by Dr. Scott Wasserman