TM
You've Got Mail!
A Collection of Funny, Sweet and Inspirational Mail
Received by Minnie...
including poems, quotes and other ramblings.
TM
You've Got Mail!
A Collection of Funny, Sweet and Inspirational Mail
Received by Minnie...
including poems, quotes and other ramblings.
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IF MY BODY WERE A CAR... If my body were a car, this
is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.
My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things, even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach
my maximum speed.
My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here's the worst of it
--
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh.... Either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!
 Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb? A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS!But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THEPILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS HOUSE! I'm sorry.... What was the question? |
