"Minnie" Fans stay Cool....
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Do YOU have "Minnie Moments"?
Here's some my readers have shared. Funny entries from Minnie's Guestbook and Emails. These are real, everyday happenings in the life of a menopausal woman!
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also check out "I'm so menopausal....."
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So I measured out 8 oz. of diet Coke in my little shaker cup, poured in the powder, snapped the lid down and shook. Diet Coke. Shook. Those two words don’t go together. In about 10 seconds, I heard this little “burp” noise, and looked down. It had virtually EXPLODED all over me . . . my clothes . . . my desk . . . every piece of paper ON my desk . . . my bulletin board . . . EVERYWHERE!! It was so bad, all I could do was laugh!! I had to go home & change clothes, but I still can’t believe I DID THAT!!!!!
p.s. I didn’t lose the whole shake – and it WAS good with Diet Coke!!! Nancy in Houston
![]() ![]() Well, I DID remind myself and I sat down close by to wait the 3-4 min. it would take to start boiling, but then I went to my home office to check my email and got completely absorbed in something on the web until I heard these "popping" noises. I was puzzled, but kept on with what I was doing on the computer until I decided to go investigate where the noises were coming from. I was so looking forward to some deviled eggs, but now they're just "devil" eggs! You can't really tell from the picture, but one of the eggs was splattered all over my kitchen! Of course the pot is ruined too. I'm glad my grandkids weren't here to see this! LOL ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I pulled into the gas station one day and there was a line. A woman pulled up to the pump and got out of her car. She walked around the vehicle and then realized her tank was on the opposite side from the pump. Shaking her head all the way around the car, she got back in. I know, this is not so funny, but just wait! She pulled around the pump. Again, she proceeded to get out of the car and walk around the vehicle. She then realized that her tank was again on the wrong side of the car. Shaking her head all the way around the car, she got back in. She repeated the above again (yes, this is the third time) and again, was on the wrong side of the pump. Shaking her head.... The fourth time, she got it right. Do you think this was a menopause moment? (Definitely!! Dee) Now, in my household, there are three cars. Mine is the only one that has the tank on the passenger side, so, when my husband borrows my car or I'm driving mine and pull up to the pumps, he is total confused, (he will say to me why are you going on this side?) but, I don't think when I'm not in the car, he goes to the above extremes. He is a guy after all and has no problem with menopause. Well, not directly any way! ![]() An elderly Florida lady (over 55) did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!" The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition; for the same reason, she did not understand why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat! She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why...A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale teenagers were reporting a car-jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. If you're going to have a Senior ("Minnie") Moment, make it memorable!
I asked a coworker that was busy if he wanted me to bring him back something for lunch. When I got back, he asked me where I had put his lunch-I had completely forgotten that I was supposed to get something for him.......
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I call it Menopause Fog. My husband enjoys hot sausage but I can only eat the mild. So I decided to distinguish the hot from the mild by putting toothpicks into the hot. Keep in mind that I only eat one piece of mild while my husband eats several. Putting one toothpick into the mild would have made more sense but not only did I put the picks in the hot, I also put the pick into the mild too. Duh!!!!!!!!!
Just yesterday I had to set all of our digital clocks due to a power outage, and I managed to set MY bedside clock one hour ahead of the rest. Sure was a surprise when I woke up to the alarm at what was actually 5:00 this morning insteaed of 6:00... Hubby got a good chuckle out of that one. --Linda--
I have to share a "minnie moment" with you. My daughter and I were shopping one day at a well known department store in Houston. Because I have dry mouth all the time to go with the hot flashes I will usually chew gum while out. Anyway the gum had reached its potential so I spit it out in a tissue from my purse and put the tissue back inside my purse. Later I went to the restroom. In my stall there was no toilet paper, so I used a tissue from my purse. Well, I must say it was quite a mess but I was minty fresh. - Patti -
I was changing clothes in front of my 3 year old granddaughter, trying to be as discrete about it as possible, especially since her new interest is in the human body. Well she was pointing to my breast and asked,"What's that?" I replied, "Honey, that's my breasts." "well" she says, "They sure are long." That's a new one on me.......Hanging on in Houston
I walked into my co-worker/girlfriend's office to discuss something work related. As I began to speak, she got this look of shock and terror on her face. When I asked what was wrong, she said, "I have to go home right away". I asked her what happened as she looked embarrassed. She said because the weather was so cold that morning, she put on a "pant slip" to be worn under her slacks. However, as I was talking to her, she realized that she forgot to put on the slacks and she had come to work wearing only the "pant slip". Luckily it was black and not sheer. We both began laughing uncontrollably due to her "Minnie Pauz" moment. She slinked out of the office hoping no one would notice her. --Linda--
I read your site with delight! I work in a bank so I have to wait for someone else to come so I can enter the bank. I usually listen to a christian program while I'm waiting and then hop out when they come and enter the bank. Imagine my surprise when I went out four hours later and the radio was still blasting. I left the car on with my keys in it and the radio was playing away! God help my brain.----Mary
"One day I was scrambling in my purse looking for my cell phone - while I was talking on my cell phone. I frantically pulled out my wadded ball of Kleenex, an old lipstick, my wallet, my sunglasses case and my glasses case before I said to the other person, "Hold on, I can't find my cell phone." Marty Meitus, columnist for the Rocky Mountain News
Last year I went to the grocery to pick up a roast for dinner. That was all I needed, one piece of meat. When I got home, I had my head, my purse, but no roast. I had paid for it and left it on the check-out counter. I like the Jimmy Buffett line--"If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane." Judy Paley, M.D. www.femailhealthnews.com
A couple of years ago, I spent two weeks with my mother while I was in the process of moving back to Illinois from Houston. It was the middle of winter in Chicago and my mother was starting to have pretty regular hot flashes. I was scrambling to drum up some business in Chicago, so I was spending a great deal of time on her computer between looking at apartments. Toward the end of my stay, her hot flashes became so regular and so severe that she would open every door and window in the house. It got so cold in the house that the computer monitor actually began to fog up on me, making it impossible to get anything done. Not to mention it's pretty difficult to type with mittens on. It's been a couple of years now and my mother is back to normal (well, for her anyway). But my stepfather and I always get a good laugh about it when she complains about the temperature.
After a decade together my husband didn't have a nick name for me, now he calls me "Flash". It's kind of fun to see the look on people's faces when I turn BRIGHT RED from head to toe while doing nothing to cause it!!!!!!!!
After reporting to police that my car had been stolen, I had gone to Rent-a-Car, so I could drive to work that coming Monday morning. On my way back from the place...what did I spot, but my forlorn little car, sitting in front of the beauty parlor, where I had left it (and walked home from instead of driving it home....duh). Just imagine, my horror at what I had done. Im still shocked that I did it. The worst part, was calling the police back again, and having to tell them, what I had done...Not to mention...the insurance company!....God help me
I was going to be outside mowing the grass, and since my husband calls me during the day, I wanted to leave a message on our answering machine letting him know what I was doing. My cell phone was in my car in the garage. I went to my car, leaving the back door of the house open, and dialed my home phone number. Suddenly I heard the phone ringing inside the house. I jumped out of the car, ran inside and answered the phone!! I even got angry because SOMEONE hung up after only one ring. I then went BACK out to my car to call me again! When I began dialing my number, I realized what I had done. I just sat in my car in the garage and laughed and laughed.
One night I awoke to a very cold and wet face. The headboard of the waterbed was right up against the window. When I got up, I saw a fine dusting of snow on the headboard and more was being blown in by the fan that was in the window and turned on. I turned the fan off, took it out of the window and when I tried to shut the window I couldn't because it had frozen in the open position. I had to get my hubby to close the window.
My sister-in-law was having night sweats and insomnia really bad. One night her husband in a half awake state and of course no glasses on, he said he was suddenly aware of a whooshing sound and could see red lights flashing as he looked towards his wife's side of the bed. He tells it like this "as I slowly woke up more, I realized Louise was fanning herself which made a whooshing sound and the red lights popping on and off were the numerals on the digital clock that he could see intermittently in between the waves of the fan.
A few weeks ago, a motor officer pulled me over. He's explaining to me that I went straight into an intersection instead of turning right in the right-turn only lane. I'm listening to what he's saying, but cannot figure out what the heck he's talking about. While he's writing me the ticket ... I'm thinking that I'm loosing my freakin' mind. When I signed the ticket, I asked the officer to take me to the intersection and show me what I did wrong because I couldn't get it. As it turned out, he's the one who made a mistake. I wasn't where he thought I was. He took the ticket back!
My high school aged son was in a soccer tournament. Between games, I took a whole vanload of soccer players to the restaurant to eat lunch. Another mom drove her van load and followed us over there. When we parked next to each other there was a lot of chaos as we got all the boys out of the vans and secured their equipment in the car. We all headed inside and enjoyed a nice leisurely lunch. As we walked out of the restaurant, I was fumbling in my purse trying to find my car keys. I couldn’t find them anywhere. Just then my son came running back to me with the keys in his hand. He said, “MOM, you left the keys in the ignition……….and the sliding door wide open…………………AND the car was still running!!!!!!!!
Every year at christmas is hectic at my house. This last christmas however was a real mess. I had several over for christmas.{ no big deal.} Chirstmas eve is my biggest night to wrap presents and it seemed like I was missing some presents but I thought no I'm just imagineing it, We started opening presents and the whole time I'm passing out gifts it seems like some are missing.Well after all is done my step daughter looks at me and ask if I had missed a Charm for my step granddaughter. It finally dawns on me that I had in fact forgot a charm for her and my daughter. Well later on that day after dinner my two younger boys were playing and making alot of noise. When all of a sudden I remembered two presents that make alot of noise that were forgot for them.I hurried and wrapped them. I had to cover up by saying santa was playing hide and seek on them. Well two days later my husband found two more presents for my daughter and older sons in the tool box of our truck.He just laughed while I cried. I am now know as the mom with brain farts.
My sister was making a presentation to a room filled with her co-workers, she was standing on a low stage at a podium, showing slides and reading off and on from the notes in front of her. All of a sudden, she could feel this humongous bead of sweat starting to roll forward toward her forehead under her hair. She didn't know what to do, because it felt like a one-gallon bead of sweat rolling down there. So, she did what any normal menopausal woman would do. She froze, she couldn't talk, couldn't move. For about thirty long seconds, she didn't say a word and could see everybody out there leaning over to one another in their chairs asking each other "what's wrong with her"? She said she absolutely could not think of ANYTHING EXCEPT THAT BEAD OF SWEAT, and she just knew what was going to happen - it was going to roll right down her forehead and all the way down her nose and plop right on the papers in front of her. When she told me this, I just cracked up and laughed until I about fell off my chair.
I was helping my mother move a cabinet across the room in her lounge to another location behind the couch. All went smoothly, we moved it with no difficulty. When we tried to position it behind the couch by moving it along, it suddenly got extremely heavy and just wouldn't budge with any amount of effort. We then realised that we were both pushing instead of one pushing while the other pulled. Well, we laughed so hard......
I'm with a friend, whom I've just met. We are driving back to her place. As I'm heading down the road she says "you need to turn here" I say why? Because I live here!! Well, I thought I was taking her back to my place. Only problem is the place I was heading I haven't lived in for two years!! Oh, well all turned out well, and I eventually got back to where I really live.
I was attending a public meeting in a church hall. Per my usual, I could not leave the facility without visiting the rest room. Having collected several fliers, I placed them under the extra toilet paper roll on top of the toilet while I accomplished my task.
Upon completion, I took my papers and exited the rest room, stopping to say good-bye to a table full of friends. When I reached my car, I met another friend and she asked me for something I had stored in my purse. I was initially flustered because both hands were full and I couldn't remember what I was holding. When I looked down, one hand held my papers, the other was holding the extra roll of toilet paper from atop the toilet tank!!! We both laughed and laughed. The toilet paper roll was returned to the church!
I bought a bottle of herbal memory tablets to assist my not-as-good-as-it-used-to-be memory - that was a couple of years ago. I keep forgetting to take them.
On Monday I went to my exercise club with two different aerobic shoes on. On Tuesday I forgot it was Halloween. I had to go to the store and buy candies at the last minute. On Wednesday I forgot my dentist appointment. On Thursday I forgot to go to my women's group. On Friday I forgot which car I was driving. On Saturday in class, I forgot a word when my teacher called on me. On Sunday I forgot to do the laundry. Why can I never forget to eat.
After a week of holiday company, I woke up at 6:30 feeling rested and ready to start the new week with gusto! I fixed my first cup of coffee for the morning and turned on the computer and the tv, but instead of the usual morning shows, there was a football game on one station and a movie on another.....very strange for a Monday morning! Then I noticed the date on my computer..... it said "Sunday, Nov. 25". I immediately changed it to "Mon. Nov.26" and made a mental note to ask someone what could cause the date to not change on my computer. Then "60 Minutes" came on TV and it finally hit me that the time was 6:30 PM Sunday evening instead of 6:30 AM Monday morning, and I had just awoken from an afternoon nap and lost all sense of time! (oh yes, I set the computer clock back to the proper day) heheheh.......this from your humble host, Dee :)
I was sweeping up around the litterbox located in the laundry room! The full dustpan is USUALLY emptied back into the litterbox which is then scooped clean and replenished as needed. On this particular occasion, the dustpan was quite efficiently emptied into the washing machine. My first response was SHOCK, manifested in a kind of whimper. Then I proceeded to pull out the mini-vac in order to complete the laundry detail. I continue to be amazed at how easily two distinctly different tasks can become so "enmeshed". In fact, that term could well apply to this sort of dysfunction.
I remember my first hot flash at work. Picture this: middle of winter in Minnesota, snow 4 feet deep. I worked in a small office with 2 other women a few years younger than I. I kept getting up to go to the "bathroom" but they evidently heard the outside door closing. On one such trip, I happened to look up and saw them watching me out of the window as I was stuffing snow down the front of my blouse!
Not too long ago, I reached into the pantry to obtain the flour canister to fry a chicken and discovered a 1/2 gallon container of curdled milk that upon studying about it for the rest of that day, had to have been in the pantry for almost a week!
I started to apply hand lotion and took off my wedding ring and put it in my mouth. Immediately I reached for the lotion bottle, and was DISMAYED to see my wedding ring missing from my finger! I looked all over the chest of drawers, in the floor, went into the bathroom and looked on the counter, and then into the mirror---and THERE it was, right in my mouth where I had put it SECONDS before!
Just recently while going to a gas station to purchase gas for the car that I have had for 5 years, I could not remember which side the gas tank was on. I had to get out of the car to have a look.
I'm a JHS English teacher and I was running a few minutes late to class. I rushed into the teacher's room, got my teaching materials all ready : books, xeroxed tests, chalk and so on, raced out of the room and into the classroom... settled the kids down and got them ready for the BIG test, only to discover that all the junk that I put aside were in my hands and the "teaching stuff" that I needed was all left in the teachers' lounge.
Hang in there .. I can't see anything wrong with calling a washer a "plastic O-ring thingy" anyway! That should be their REAL name :)
My husband and I had an evening of intense passion and when I woke up the next day, I couldn't find my estrogen patch anywhere. I changed it as prescribed, twice a week, like clockwork and had never misplaced or lost it. I went to the bathroom, to grab another patch (my kids say there are times I should wear two or three!) and climbed back in bed. Imagine my horror when my husband got up to shower and my patch was stuck on his back!! Needless to say, he had a shower partner that day and seemed to enjoy having his back lathered up! It still cracks me up to think that he might have walked around all day with female hormones coursing through his veins!! I am divorced now but remember this story as one of the more fond memories of my marriage!!
I'll never forget the time she told me of going outside in 0 degree weather and having steam coming off of her during one of her severe "flushes". This was in the middle of the night too.
As a middle aged clergywomen, "hot flash in the pulpit" has a new meaning. Yea for the fan under the pulpit.
The other day I was about to put the bottle of 409 in the refrigerator.
Walking through the house removing clothes with sweat pouring - our kind of strip act.
The idea of me having no more eggs was interesting, I mean, where did they go. Does that mean I only started off with 396? Had I known that, I would not have broke so many.
I was standing out in the cold rain the other day and the thought went through my head...where's a hot flash when you really need one?
Living in the mountains.......when they say menopause means you're going over the hill now- ole gal! Which one do they mean?
I stopped at a traffic light, the car behind blew the horn, I had stopped for a green lite. Ahhh, sweet Minnie Pause!
I've actually seen myself accidentally in a store mirror-wall that I hadn't known about......recognized the JACKET--or sweater, whatever....and THEN realized that the face/hair/body looked vaguely familiar, too.....oh, well!
Having a cold blooded significant other with poor circulation ----he really relies on those hot flashes to warm him up at night. Of course his "cold hands" on my back are a welcoming touch as well.
With hot flashes here in the west coast rain forest you can get wet both on the inside and outside of your rain gear!!!
During my job interview today, I "surged" and fogged my glasses . . . guess its time to try one of those products that prevents mirrors from fogging in a steamy bathroom!
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